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(4 Posts)
SuperSheepdog Sun 05-Mar-17 14:12:35

Hello. My dad is dying of cancer. He was having chemo but it wasn't working so the doctor stopped it and within a week he was in a hospice, confused from painkillers, incontinent and very weak and frail.

I feel really guilty as I spent the past year researching cures, reading about all his treatments and visiting as often as possible.

I'm so angry at the moment, I want to run into a hospital and beg doctors to save him, to treat him (I won't really do this!!). I know he will die soon and I'm spending time with him most days, even if he's just sleeping.

I'm so angry about stupid stuff, like my exP who I see just doing everyday things, not a care in the world...whilst I go through this horror and watch my beloved dad struggle and soon pass away.

frazzled3ds Tue 07-Mar-17 18:36:33

Hello. Anger is ok - it's a natural reaction, and I know how you feel. My Dad has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis, and although he's not yet deteriorating, it will ultimately only be a matter of time. It sucks.

Spending time with him is the best thing you can do, and when you can try to give yourself some time too - space to breathe, to grieve, to feel and release the anger. If you've got anyone IRL who you can chat to that may be helpful, and ask the team at the hospice what they are able to offer in terms of support too. You've nothing to feel guilty for either!

flowers for you.

thesandwich Tue 07-Mar-17 19:11:48

So very sorry sheepdog. Your anger is completely understandable. Please talk to people at the hospice- it's what they are there for. Take care.

Tirion1649 Tue 14-Mar-17 09:56:12

Oh, I really understand that anger. When my Dad was ill, I researched and enquiried - I was desperate and rightly so. I was his daughter. Ditto when my Mum was ill. Phoned other hospitals, made impromptu visits to them, knocked on consultants' doors, read and read all that I could. I guess my Mum would have done all that for me. Love doesn't give up.

frazzled is right - spending time with your Dad is the best thing to do now. He'll know you're there, he'll hear you and hopefully you'll talk. The hospice should have a team to support you now and later - chaplains, counsellors, nurses. Sorry about exP (that stinks) but do you have anyone in RL to visit with you, to be by you at other times?

flowers to you and frazzled

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