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Dad starting chemo next week and coming to us for Christmas Day

(7 Posts)
DadsChristmasDinner Wed 14-Dec-16 15:13:23

Obviously at the moment we have no idea what sort of side effects he might start to have, but we assume he'll be feeling pretty crap so Christmas will be really low key, no pressure, no big magical "special" events because he would hate it and would feel as though we were doing it to 'create' memories.

But, I want to do all I can to accomodate him and just wanted to see if anyone had any ideas about maybe what we should expect a week after the chemo. I only know one person who has had cancer and he lost all interest in food other than soft 'comfort' food because of mouth ulsers and his sense of smell diminished.

Am I overthinking this? Should I just do a normal dinner and let him bow out to have a rest in the bedroom if he wants, or are there simple things I could do that are likely to be a good idea because of expected reactions to the chemo? I suppose I'm just at a loss about the whole thing really, so the food is the one thing I can focus on and try to make enjoyable for him (depending on my cooking of course smile)

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DadsChristmasDinner Wed 14-Dec-16 15:14:04

Long-time poster by the way, it's just that this combined with my past posts could identify me smile

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Chimpfield Thu 15-Dec-16 12:28:45

My father in law was in the same position last year - the one thing we learned is that not everyone has every symptom (depending in the "cocktail") After his first treatment he was just tired and as he was prescribed steriods too, the side effects meant that he was awake most of the night and liked to doze in his chair during the day - just go with the flow and let him dictate the pace........ carry on as normal as you can for everything else - thinking of you all x

Gracey1231 Thu 15-Dec-16 19:46:34

My dad had chemotherapy for NHL in 2014 on December 21st, and he shown no side effects, ate a lot because of the steroids. Obviously everyone is different but I'd recommend just going with the flow depending on how he feels Hun x

snowgeese Fri 16-Dec-16 14:19:37

Somewhere to snooze comfortably . If needed bedroom for quiet . Otherwise as wise ops have said just go with the flow . Do normal if you get me . Familiarity and his family around will be just the ticket . You sound lovely Dads . So thoughtful .
Re food it does depend on regime and meds like steroids . Make your meal as usual . If his mouth is sore or appetite diminished then a little of what he fancies. Even if it is mash and delicious gravy . Small plate so it isn't overwhelming . Trifle and ice cream are easy to get down .
Oh yes a wee tipple too.Tis Christmas .

Your dad will have a lovely day with no pressure . I will be thinking of you .

DadsChristmasDinner Tue 20-Dec-16 20:09:34

Thank you all. Sorry I haven't replied before.

Yes, I think just keep it like a normal Sunday dinner then there is no pressure for him to try anything because of any special effort. I'm not sure how much peace he will get with a 3 year old rampaging around the place but luckily they only live a few miles away so I can always drop them home if they want to get away early.

I like the idea of trifle and ice cream as he doesn't like Christmas pudding anyway (yes I know, I should start an AIBU for that one smile).

Thanks again, hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

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LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Tue 20-Dec-16 20:13:59

My DM rally varied - some days she'd be exhausted and right off her food, other days she was eating like it was an Olympic sport. She did take fancies to things - crumpets was one, which for some reason tickled us all. I'd make sure there was some soup on the go, and some ice cream, stuff that can be made soft (potatoes and gravy has that covered). Highly scented things can be a bit overwhelming IIRC so I'd hold off on scented candles.

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