My mother got diagnosed with Kidney Cancer last year that had spread to her lungs, they said it was incurable at that point. She had her Kidney removed and has been on treatment for the mets on her lungs which are now stable. However, they have now said she looks to have mets on the outside of her stomach and bowel. We need to wait another 3-4 weeks for a CT scan to check if the new mets are progressive but I think the docs believe they are anyway. I just don't know how to cope with all this and can't imagine what it would be like to not have my mum here. I also have a 16 month old daughter who was born just before the diagnosis. Whilst me and my husband had talked about having another child in the near-ish future, I just don't know if I could go through with that as it would be highly unlikely that my mother would ever be able to meet him/her. Sorry for spilling my guts, I don't have anyone close to talk to so I needed to get it out on here. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated as just feeling a little lost and devastated at the moment. Thank you.
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Life-limiting illness
Hi, so sorry to hear what you're going through.
I lost my mum 12 years ago when DS was a baby. It was a dreadful time, she was 60, cancer, very traumatic. After her loss, I had two miscarriages, I really needed mum then and then I had dd. Dd is 8 now and it's a sadness to me and her that she never got to meet her nanny. There's so much about my life she never knew. I talk about mum to the dcs, her picture is on the wall, I celebrate her birthday and raise a glass to her at Christmas. I wish that she was here and I miss her every day but you have to carry on. I owe her that.
There's no easy answer, it's bloody hard. But somehow, you adjust. Don't make any hasty decisions right now but I'm pretty sure your mum would want you to carry on and be happy. Mine did. Take one day at a time, you will get through this 
My experience is very much as iamthecatsmother. My mum died asked 60 when I had a baby followed by 2 miscarriages, but for me it was 20 years ago. I have 8 years between my first 2 children, in part because I couldn't face having another child for quite a while after my mum's death. I remember initially thinking "when is it ever going to get easier", but it does. Initially I found myself thinking about my mum every single minute of every day. Then there were short periods of time when I was distracted from my loss. These periods became longer until, her death was no longer a daily thought. Now, I probably think about her most days but not with the same raw intense emotion. I still miss her but not in the same way. I can think about her and smile and laugh, rather than cry. It is much more bearable now and life goes on. Try not to dwell on it, because you will cope. I would almost say that the uncertainty when my mother was ill, and the pain of seeing her and knowing she wasn't going to get better was worse than after her death. Just take one day at a time.
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