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how does he know

(3 Posts)
WendyWills12345 Fri 29-Jul-16 13:56:11

Dh was diagnosed with T4 bowel cancer earlier this year. It has spread to his nodules and metastasised to his stomach. In the operation to remove as much of the cancer as possible he had part of his stomach removed but according to the surgeon he got as much as the eye can see from the primary site but couldn't take as much as he hoped from the stomach as it had spread too much. The surgeon then explained that the cancer had burst through the bowel and the seeds of cancer had spread throughout his body and only time would tell where they would pop up. He was very factual that it was a case of when not if the cancer returned there wouldn't be anything that could be done.

Dh went for a ct scan which showed the cancer left on his stomach and was referred to our nearest cancer hospital.

I went with dh for the first appointment with the consultant. He looked at the scan and told dh that it was not cancer but scar tissue from the operation. Dh was relieved. I, whilst wanting to believe him was a bit😏.

His subsequent appointments have been with nurses but last week he asked to see the consultant as he had seen an article about a drug called Avastin that dh thought might help.

Dh came home from that appointment saying he was cured and he just needed to finish off the chemo course and everything would be great and if he found the cancer was still there or the cancer came back in the future then he would just take the Avastin and everything would be good.

Dh has as yet not had any sort of scan/test to see how things are progressing since his start of chemo. Also dh had critical illness insurance that was paid out. CI Insurance only get paid out if the patient is diagnosed as having less than 12 months to live.

Whilst I hope dh makes a recovery I feel very uneasy about his consultant telling him he is cured or at the least inferring everything will be ok without any sort of current scan.

Does anyone have any advice on this situation. Dh has told the Dc that daddy is cured and whilst yes he is feeling ok, not having any further scan/test to see what is going on leaves me feeling uneasy. Equally I am very nervous about this consultant diagnosing anything. Personally I believe a surgeon who has actually opened dh up and seen what is going on rather than a consultant who seems to want to go against all previous diagnosis.

Dontbesilly Wed 10-Aug-16 10:16:26

Hi. I completely understand why you are confused and feeling uneasy. I would be exactly the same as you.

I would press for a scan as you said that your dh hasn't had once since the start of the chemo. Also I would go back to the surgeon who operated on your dh, explain exactly what the new doctor has told you and ask him what he thinks. Does he agree with the diagnosis etc.

In my opinion having dealt with cancer within the immediate family, never ever feel afraid or embarrassed to ask and ask again and even push for something to happen medically. We did this and sadly some people are not very understanding within the medical profession, although the majority are truly amazing and understanding, we did have to be extremely assertive with a few. So please do ask and insist on an explanation. Also sometimes the various medical professionals have a MDT (multidisciplinary team meeting I think it's called) where they all meet up to discuss the patient. Can you ask if this was done, or can be done and have a review meeting yourselves after to discuss the outcome?

I am sorry that I can't be more help to you. I didn't want to read and run and felt that you needed a reply. You sounded so upset. Also, would you feel comfortable with discussing this with either your gp or your husbands gp? If they can't discuss the case directly with you due to patient confidentiality, could they discuss this with you as a generic matter? Ask them or even McMillan cancer, what do they suggest.

Really hope you get answers to your questions and you can find peace of mind as this sounds like a terrible situation for your family to in. flowers

chewingawasp Wed 10-Aug-16 10:25:58

I would ask for a scan/second opinion too. I can understand your dh wanting to believe he is cured though. On a side note, critical illness cover pays out if you have certain types of cancer, you don't have to be terminal to receive the payment.

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