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Dad diagnosed with leukaemia

(11 Posts)
DeathByMascara Thu 30-Jun-16 18:26:11

It was confirmed today. Acute myeloid leukaemia. He starts chemo on Monday and will be in hospital for all of July.

I'm devastated but he doesn't want any shows of emotion when he's dealing with his own.

Hand hold anyone?

TheWindInThePillows Thu 30-Jun-16 18:39:19

I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't have any amazing words of wisdom, but I remember my mum telling me about the circles of support (I don't really know what they are called). Basically the person in the middle is the one with the disease, then those closest to that person is in the next circle (so say wife, children or whatever) and so forth. Ideally you can get most of your support from people in the next circle out from you- so that might be friends, colleagues, people who know your dad and so forth. Your dad might just be overwhelmed at present- although this may change over time. People deal with these things in different ways, he probably still sees himself as the grown-up in the situation and doesn't want you to be upset.

It is very hard, though, OP, not the best news in the world reallysad

DeathByMascara Thu 30-Jun-16 19:53:00

No, it's pretty shit. Although, to try & be positive, it's been caught before he started having any symptoms and he had no other health issues that will complicate things. Given the man he is, I'm sure he's going to give it all he's got with both barrels, but I wish with all my heart he didn't have to.

My 3 year old told me at bath time that she missed him. She normally sees him & my mum nearly every day but who knows when they'll get to see each other next. Poor thing will be so confused. sad

recall Thu 28-Jul-16 16:38:48

I'll hold yours if you'll hold mine - my Dad was diagnosed with bone metastases yesterday, having scan today to try and find the primary cancer.

Such hideous shock. Keep feeling ok ish, then in total despair. Mum gone in this afternoon to get the diagnosis etc, expected a call by now, but phone is ominously silent. I'm on holiday with husband and 3 children, trying to look like I'm having fun. Feel sick inside, big waves of nasty washing over me.

I'll keep checking in - let us know about your dear Dad - flowers wine

DeathByMascara Thu 28-Jul-16 17:22:49

So sorry to hear your news recall - it's utterly sickening, isn't it? If it's any comfort, this initial shock won't last, a month on from the diagnosis we are all feeling much more positive. Dad is coping remarkably well, even surpassing our expectation and that of the doctors. He has a bone marrow test on Monday to see if he is in remission after the first round of chemo. So am sure we'll be back to the sick, dread feeling.

I really hope you get the call soon, so you know what you're dealing with. Please keep me posted flowers

recall Fri 29-Jul-16 01:49:21

Finally I broke and called my Mum who told me the primary is in his lung.
I'm going from feeling ok to the horrors, trying not to let the sadness pull me down. I had a very dark few minutes of pure anguish, stood in the caravan loo with the children playing and laughing just the other side of the door. Was attempting to sob quietly, but almost making the bloody caravan shake. Then I was stuck in there because my face was all red and my eyes all puffy, so I stuck my head out of the window into the breeze. A bloke strolled past and we made eye contact grin He must have wondered what on earth I was doing - ha

I think it helped - was like some kind of exorcism. It reminded me of when I lost a baby at 23 weeks 10 years ago - that pinnacle of intense pain. Like sinking to the very bottom of a lake in order to bend your knees and push yourself back up to the surface ? Or when you are giving birth and reach that bit where you know that you have to push yourself through intense agony in order to get out of it ?

I'm going to have to seek advice about how to deal with the children especially my 9 year old who is best mates with her Grandad, and spends hours and hours with him in his shed woodworking. Is it best to let her in from the start, or protect her as long as possible ? Either way she will be devastated sad

reebsr33bs Sun 31-Jul-16 15:46:03

How's your dad doing deathbymascara ? Xx

recall Mon 01-Aug-16 17:25:26

How's the chemotherapy going ?

DeathByMascara Tue 02-Aug-16 21:50:51

Hi all, thank you for your concern. He has almost recovered from the chemo, his temperature is still spiking occasionally but that's to be expected when he has no immune system to speak of. He will hopefully get home tomorrow for a few days before he starts round two of chemo. We hope to hear whether the first has worked well in the next day or two.

Recall, I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. How are you bearing up? I kept referring back to when we miscarried our first baby and the immense pain that came with that. There isn't really a way of comparing the two, they are very different types of pain. But the worst I've known. I will say that that 'rock bottom' feeling will keep creeping up on you, if you're anything like me. And pop up when you least expect it.

How is his prognosis?

recall Sun 21-Aug-16 19:07:22

How did he get on with the chemo ? Hope that your news was good.

Well we have all on gone on holiday, my Mum and Dad ( their dog ) me and my husband and our three children. Its worked out to be a good move. Dad finally taking his Oramorph, and is his usual hilarious self, entertaining everyone. Prognosis remains pretty poor, but today - he is good, so we are all good too.

DeathByMascara Sun 21-Aug-16 20:10:26

Hi recall, thanks for asking. No one expected it, but he's actually in remission! They found one solitary leukaemia cell in his bloods last week, which is amazing. He continues to be upbeat and matter of fact.

For reasons I can't fathom, I've gone to pieces over the past couple of days. I'm still so worried.

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