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how to approach cancer

(7 Posts)
questforlife Mon 23-May-16 22:41:20

My Dads been diagnosed with terminal cancer, I called him this evening to see how he was, so I asked how are you in my 1st sentence (which I would actually do upon calling someone anyway) his reply was he was pissed off as he'd had 6 phone calls already (today) asking him how he was.... Not really being too sure how to take this I said goodbye not long after

I know there's not much he can say (I'm feeling like crap/in lots of pain etc) but if I don't call he thinks his not thought of

How best to talk to him? Advice would be appreciated thank you

Stopyourhavering Wed 01-Jun-16 17:49:07

ask him how his day has been....rather than an closed question which can be answered in one word....if its an open question he can then elaborate ( or not) on how he's feeling at that particular moment...
he should be getting some input from palliative care team ( either MacMillan or Marie Curie Nurses) or if not then he should have a named worker/Clinical nurse specialist who may be able to give you some tips on how to speak to him...have a look on MacMillan website too...they have lots of useful info and you can speak to an advisor too xx

questforlife Wed 01-Jun-16 20:17:19

Thank you very much, practical advice.
His had a few meetings with the local hospice so I assume his under their care other than the hospital. Thank you

LeiasBuns Thu 02-Jun-16 12:59:46

Yes I agree, ask him how his day has been or anything else about his day. I've found the same with my dad who is terminally ill and I kept asking him 'how are you feeling today?'. He definitely started getting fed up being asked, so I don't now and just talk about other things.

Chasingsquirrels Thu 02-Jun-16 13:01:39

Just reading this, DH recently diagnosed. How was your day is a good idea - although at the moment I'm with him pretty much all the time so have a far idea of how his day has been.
I'm going to try and stop asking how he is and ask more open questions.

Rainbowsdohappen Thu 02-Jun-16 21:35:46

I'm sorry to hear that chasingsquirrels
Hope things are ok

Thank you for the advice will give it ago
My grandad was diagnosed at Christmas aswel so their both very ill's up & downs

Rainbowsdohappen Thu 02-Jun-16 21:36:28

I've just realised I've changed user names so for any confusion!

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