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Support for MIL with cancer 450 miles away

(3 Posts)
WeAllHaveWings Mon 29-Feb-16 22:50:14

MIL has cancer. Dh is vague with the details as he doesnt like medical things and its "women's" stuff. I suspect it's ovarian related but not sure, think she had an ovary removed before. I am not close enough to her to call and ask.

She has private Bupa care and sees a consultant in London (details also sketchy). She is 69, had chemotherapy around 10 years ago, which put her into remission but it was a "ticking time bomb" and expected to return, she has been monitored every 6 months. Around 2 months ago she had an op to remove some scar tissue from inside abdomen (possibly from previous op or radiotherapy?), just had a scan and has been told cancer is back. She either has 10 weeks of chemo and possibly put back into remission or has weeks to live. Consultant has told her the chemo will be tougher this time.

This is all secondhand info from dh and getting a straight answer from MIL has always been a bit challenging when discussing anything.

We are 450 miles/9hrs drive away and although dh can go for a few days here and there if I used annual leave to get ds to school, day to day support for weeks on end is impossible. If she was NHS she would get help with transport to/from hospital, support at home, but seemingly bupa doesn't do any of this?

Has anyone been treated for cancer with bupa and what support did you get when not actually in hospital, and from where?

WeAllHaveWings Mon 29-Feb-16 22:51:23

She is divorced and has no family that will help in London.

nicknamehelp Sat 17-Sep-16 01:14:56

No experience of bupa but in same position but bit further on. Laid in bed alone while dh is miles away helping look after mil in her final days. In my experience you need to do all you can and let dh go to her as much as u can.

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