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Terminal lung cancer for my dad

(4 Posts)
Thatslife72 Fri 22-Jan-16 21:39:46

I just need somewhere to express my feelings.

My dad who is in his 80's has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, he lives 200 miles away and lives on his own! I'm wondering how I'm going to cope I have 2 children and 2 step children and an older sister who is hardly speaking to me. It's really upset me how's she's been with me, I've asked her to put aside any malice now as our dad needs us. She said she would but there's still sarcasm and just something in her voice, it really hurts especially at this time.

My dad has always been healthy, well I say that but he survived a heart attack 20 years ago and stomach ulcer before that lol, but in the last few years he's been going swimming twice a week, runs up and down the stairs to keep fit. Loves walking still does, he's really fit, but cancer doesn't care I know that. I'm just wondering how things are going to be towards the end, living this far away, trying to run my business keep kids happy too.

I've been through this before with my mum she too died of lung cancer she was only 54, that was tough because I was very close to my mum and only in my 20s by then, not married or anything, it was awful watching her detoriate and watching the hospital use experimental procedures on her while she was so frail. She wasn't my mum towards the end her body had been taken over. Now I have to go through it with my dad, I mean he's a lot older and enjoyed his retirement and had a pretty decent life, it's just I didn't want this ending for him, u kind of hope they die in their sleep tucked up in their warm bed or something lol. He's so independent and now slowly he's going loose that, or maybe quickly I don't know yet. I'm disappointed I never got him down here to see my new house with my lovely partner and children, take the dogs for a walk etc.

I'm holding all my worries in so I've used mumnet to express my feelings , get it all out. I've got to hold it together over the weekend as I'm going up to see him, and then for the children's sake it's hard but unfortunately it's also life.

whatisforteamum Sat 23-Jan-16 10:45:58

Sorry thatsllife cancer is a dreadful disease,Both my parents were diagnosed at an advanced stage and it is so hard to watch,Dad is now in his last weeks and watching him lose independance at 74 has been awful,Ithink you need to find out more about the stage of the cancer first as at the moment you are overwhelmed as i have been with my 2.
I am sorry you went through this with your Mum.54 is so young.flowers

Thatslife72 Sat 23-Jan-16 11:06:59

Aww thanks for your reply, and so sorry to hear your in the same boat 😔. Yeh my dad has been for lots of tests, we get the results Thursday so I will know more then it seems, it is a shock no matter what their age is, at least my dad has had a pretty long life really, you just don't wish this end for them do you xxx take care xxx

Thatslife72 Sat 13-Feb-16 09:34:50

My dad is so scared understandably , he gets confused with everything too , he starts his treatment next week, I will be there with him , I wonder how he will be how he will cope with it all. I wonder how long he will have no one seems to know , but it's grade 4 and he has no symptoms other than his hoarse voice since December?! I worry at night being 200 miles away, 4 kids , a business , a sister that I have a strained relationship with! I hate that I loose contact with all family that live up by my dad , everything is so up in the air and with a question next to it !

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