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My mum has stage 4 nsclc and is convinced she will die soon, she cant be right, tell me she's just panicking or something?!

(6 Posts)
LivinLaVidaLoki Tue 10-Nov-15 09:47:43

My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer (squamous cell carcinoma) in August.

It has spread to her windpipe and upper chest cavity and up until recently she was having palliative chemotherapy with the aim of shrinking the tumours and giving her a bit longer. After 5 rounds of chemo the tumours haven't shrunk (but they haven't grown either).

They have said that they will keep an eye on her to see how/if the cancer progresses and treat anything as it happens (not sure if that means treat the cancer or just treat the symptoms, they are being a bit vague about that).

But now, she has taken to saying that she is sure she only has a couple of years left (for instance, she offered to buy me a new car and I said no, she then went on to say something along the lines of "but I know I've probably only got two or three years left, and my money is no good to me when I am dead").

Now, I have been visiting loads, going to her appointments with her, taking her out, enjoying good times together, and generally making the most of time I have with her (after all I know its not a great diagnosis), but it hurts so much to hear her talk like this.

Just read this back and I'm not sure exactly what my point is, but I just needed to get this out.

Mrscog Tue 10-Nov-15 12:06:06

I'm afraid I can't help directly, but have you tried the Cancer Research website? I know there is some information about different types of cancerns and about what you can expect and rough durations of what might happen etc. I also think the Macmillan helpline is meant to be very good for talking through your feelings/issues etc.

flowers and I hope someone better than me is along soon!

ImperialBlether Tue 10-Nov-15 12:12:25

If she wants to spend her remaining time treating you to things, let her. She'll get a lot of pleasure from it. She can't take it with her - you'll either get it once she's died or now, when she can see the enjoyment you get from the things she's bought you.

ImperialBlether Tue 10-Nov-15 12:19:17

I meant to say I'm really sorry she's going through this. My dad is in a similar-ish situation and it's really horrible.


Babbafish Tue 10-Nov-15 12:27:06

Let her do what she wants !!!!

My mum died from SCLC in June last year. We only had 8 weeks from first sign of illness to her dying. In her last 4 weeks she just wanted to spend money on us and her grandkids. She bought my eldest his birthday present in May even though his birthday is August. She wanted to give while she could. We didn't know she was so close to the end. We didn't really realise how close she was until 2 days before she died.

Enjoy every minute xxxxx

Chocqueen99 Tue 24-Nov-15 19:54:13

My nan is in the same situation she is 71. Stage 4 is obviously the worse stage to be diagnosed because it has already spread, the statistics for lung cancer are not very good. I don't know is she or you have every asked at her appointments how long she may have left? My nan hasn't because she doesn't want to know. My grandad had lung cancer & died after a year of being diagnosed. . I hope you have more information now & sorry for your situation i know how horrible it is I live with my nan & she has brought me up.

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