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Waiting

(32 Posts)
pinktransit Tue 15-Sep-15 16:29:27

I'm sitting outside the hospice, as my DPs eldest son is having some one on one time with his dad.
His younger son (both in their 30s) has popped out for some food.
We're basically just waiting for the end. Counting breaths until there aren't any more. It's so hard - half of me wants it over now, half for him to stay with us.
He's just 60. 8 weeks ago he had symptoms of an ulcer - 6 weeks ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
We were told months. On Sunday we were told 'a short number of weeks'. Yesterday it was days, today it's hours.
He's mostly pain free now, but pretty much sedated too, so very little quality of life.
I'm 250 miles away from home (ldr), staying at his house. My family are amazing but 250 miles away.
Don't know why I'm posting really - just practising saying it 'out loud ' I think.

Blackswanlake Tue 15-Sep-15 16:59:23

Oh pink so sorry to read what you are going through . DP and family too of course. Cancer is a cruel disease. You all have had no time at all to process the diagnosis never mind the utterly sad outcome .
My heart goes out to you . Having your family miles away is an extra cruelty.

Are the hospice staff supporting you? Do you feel up to telling us about you dear DP? No worries if not .We can chat about anything if it helps to type .
Thinking of you flowers

FadedRed Tue 15-Sep-15 17:03:43

flowers Pink.
Can't say anything helpful, just keep you in my thoughts and hope that means you don't feel so alone.

BathshebaDarkstone Tue 15-Sep-15 17:21:40

flowersPink

pinktransit Tue 15-Sep-15 18:21:04

Thank you for your kind messages. I'm sitting by his bedside, still counting breaths. Shallow now, sometimes a pause then starts again.
The staff here are just amazing. All the time we need to ask questions, lots of hugs at 3 am this morning after a difficult half hour.
It's just been too quick - I wanted more time. Still, I am so thankful that we've had some time - we've said what needed to be said, which h is a blessing.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 15-Sep-15 18:27:18

It's so hard isn't it, I don't think anything prepares you and you've had such little time to prepare. Thinking of you all.

PolishRemoverOfNail Tue 15-Sep-15 18:29:07

Oh Pink flowers
I am thinking of you and your DP.

ALemonyPea Tue 15-Sep-15 18:29:58

flowers So sorry you're all dealing with this, it is so hard sitting, waiting.

Thoughts with you all.

FadedRed Tue 15-Sep-15 23:46:34

Still thinking of you Pink

pinktransit Wed 16-Sep-15 03:25:46

Still counting....
Each breath seems such hard work for him, but he won't give in
X

FoxesSitOnBoxes Wed 16-Sep-15 03:32:01

Oh Pink, no words flowers just wanted to say I'm thinking of you both x

saffronwblue Wed 16-Sep-15 04:09:54

Another one thinking of you.

stareatthetvscreen Wed 16-Sep-15 05:23:31

thinking of you here too

sending a hug x

Orange1969 Wed 16-Sep-15 05:33:20

So sorry.

pinktransit Wed 16-Sep-15 09:16:50

He's gone
I haven't told anyone yet. ..I don't want to make it real

uhtceare Wed 16-Sep-15 09:19:31

I'm so very sorry for your loss xx

Blackswanlake Wed 16-Sep-15 09:30:38

So so sorry pink. flowers.

billabye Wed 16-Sep-15 09:31:10

pink flowers

I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to go through. Take care of yourselves.

FadedRed Wed 16-Sep-15 09:40:20

So sorry for your loss Pink flowers Take care of yourself and come here when you need to unload.

MisForMumNotMaid Wed 16-Sep-15 09:45:42

flowers

Make sure you keep your fluids up, plenty of water, try to eat regularly even if you don't feel like it and if you can get some rest even if sleep doesn't happen lying down allows your body some downtime.

Betarocker Wed 16-Sep-15 11:17:20

I am so sorry for your loss. I was where you are now 18 months ago and the shock, grief and physical exhaustion is truly overwhelming. Take each day as it comes and lean on others when you need to. WAY (widowed and young) is a fantastic support network, there if you need them xx

ALemonyPea Thu 17-Sep-15 07:45:15

So sorry Pink flowers

sleepingdragon Thu 17-Sep-15 07:48:35

I'm sorry for your loss flowers

JeffsanArsehole Thu 17-Sep-15 07:51:36

So terribly sorry to read this flowers
I'm praying for you and your children

FoxesSitOnBoxes Fri 18-Sep-15 13:46:27

Dear Pink, I hope you're getting plenty of support. Thinking of you

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