Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any medical concerns do consult your GP.

Family member is nearing the end of life. Visiting tomorrow

(7 Posts)
Applecrumbling Wed 13-May-15 22:11:20

Hi
I'm visiting a family member tomorrow (uncle) who has terminal cancer and is near (perhaps a week?) the end of his life. I do not know what to say/ how to handle. It's so sad. Any advice?

CanadianJohn Thu 14-May-15 04:50:44

Sorry to hear of your situation. I found this helpful

www.dyingmatters.org/page/TalkingAboutDeathDying

Rosa Thu 14-May-15 06:30:16

Sorry ....it must be horrible situation hope you find the right words.

minmooch Thu 14-May-15 06:38:49

Try and be as normal as possible, talk about lovely memories that you have shared with your uncle. Even if he cannot talk he will be able to hear you. Try and bring some laughter in the room, dying people don't want to waste a moment if they can have a moment if laughter. If he can see/communicate take photos of your family in with you, ask about his memories, childhood escapades, his wedding day, his children. Fill his last days with as much laughter as you can. I've had to help both my 18 year old son and my mother pass away. We wanted them to hear laughter and feel love right to the very end.

Stuffofawesome Thu 14-May-15 06:51:38

See how they are and act in tune with that. Guests can be exhausting as lovely as they are. Talk if you like but don't be afraid to sit quietly either.
If touch seems appropriate maybe massage some hand cream in. Nurses can guide you too. Don't be alarmed if they are not eating or drinking much, their body doesn't need it like before but it can become an issue of anxiety for families. Best wishes.

whatisforteamum Thu 14-May-15 07:34:12

Thinking of you today apple sorry you are in this situation.

Applecrumbling Thu 14-May-15 15:51:12

Thanks. He is being tube fed now and on morphine. We weren't close but interesting to see how others cope. I'm quiet and accepting, others fuss, deny (like my mum) she has had 2 years to prepare but doesn't seem prepared at all in her own mind. I didn't say bye as I'm hoping he is still there to visit tomorrow. It's awful to think each time you leave he may go �� also must be difficult for him to know when you leave he may not see us again. A cruel illness.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now