I don't know why I am posting this. I am sure it must be a very common feeling.
My mum was diagnosed with Cancer last year, just 6 months after we moved to Africa. Now when I speak on the phone I am getting the feeling that there is a slow decline happening and we are starting to run out of options.
I have been coming and going as much as possible, and probably will go over again soon and stay as long as possible.
But I am so sad at all the time that has passed that I won't get back. This was meant to be our last posting, then we would go back to the UK and settle down and have a 'normal' family life (or as close to normal as possible, as we have always been all scattered all over the world!).
Then my dear Grandad passed away last year, which means soon there will be no-one left of my English side of the family.
I feel so sad that the years have passed, and that these last precious moments have been spent travelling to and fro.
Sad that I didn't see my Grandad for a whole year and he waited so patiently for our visits. Sad that that life has just all gone and been taken away just like that.
And that when I move back, or maybe have another child, my close relatives will not be there to share it with me.
I even feel guilty contemplating another child, knowing that I should be focussing on helping my dad, knowing that my mum probably won't be here to know him or her.
Just sad, sad, sad. That's all….
Any comforting words, or anyone else want to vent out too?
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Life-limiting illness
Bad prognosis for my mum and living abroad - suddenly hit by sadness of all the time I will never get back
4 replies
somuchtosortout · 21/01/2015 08:57
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