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I think my dad's very close to dying but I just don't know.

(30 Posts)
Alwaysthesame123 Mon 07-Jul-14 16:14:16

My dear dad is 81 and has been unwell with COPD and various other illnesses (prostate cancer/shadow on his kidneys/heart dailure) for about the last 5/6 years. Over the last year it has become much worse and he has been bed bound since October 2013 (it takes him about an hour to get to the bathroom, brush his teeth/go to the loo and back to bed). My mum is his full time carer - and does the most amazing job, I am in awe of her.

Last Tuesday he woke up saying he felt so unwell - he was admitted into hospital and he was told he had an infection as his white blood cells were raised and he was given antibiotics. He came home last Friday and suddenly everything has changed. A hospital bed was delivered and he has had nurses coming in am and pm and 2 nurses from the hospice during the day. Yesterday we were told that he had been fast tracked and he will be getting visits 4x a day from the hospice nurses.

I can't bear to see him so ill, it makes me cry every time I see him which is usually every day. This must sound horrible and I don't mean to be, but does anyone know if he is close to death because i just don't know. The thought that he could be like this for weeks is too awful. He sleeps almost of the day, he can't get out of bed to the loo. He is drinking water and having small bits of food but today he said he just wanted to "go away".

I feel so desperate, I'm scared that I won't be near him when he dies in case I can't get there in time. Every day I wonder if it will be today and I find myself wishing for it all to be over.

I'd be so grateful for any advice if anyone can give me any. Thank you.

felttippens Fri 18-Jul-14 14:55:50

Always, I am on the same journey - my dad's morphine driver went in today after no longer being able to swallow his oral medicines - he is very peaceful with just the odd wakenings x I hope your family and dad are all peaceful too x

Alwaysthesame123 Sun 20-Jul-14 23:02:01

Hello everyone

I just wanted to let you know that my dearest dad passed away on Thursday morning, very peacefully, with us all by his side. I am eternally grateful to the hospice at home nurses for their constant care, kindness and love, enabling him to remain at home until the end.

These past few days have been so hard, I can't quite believe that he's no longer here and that I can't see him again, cant speak to him again...but I am so grateful that he was at home with us....despite a slow and difficult battle to the very end, we were all able to tell him how much we loved him....I told him that he was a good, kind man and that I loved him and always would....and I was able to say thank you to him for all that he has done for me.

Treading, my thoughts and prayers are with you, very much indeed. Take good care.

And thank you again for all the kind words that everyone has posted, they really helped me through a difficult time.

AcrossthePond55 Mon 21-Jul-14 00:18:29

I'm glad your dear dad isn't suffering anymore and that you were able to do and say everything your heart told you to.

Your family is in my prayers for peace for you during this time.

AcrossthePond55 Mon 21-Jul-14 00:18:53

* peace for you ALL

Elibean Mon 21-Jul-14 10:01:54

I'm so sorry, Always. RIP your dad, and love and strength to you xxx

Thinking of you too, Tread xxx

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