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How to cope with Christmas?

(9 Posts)
Mirandasbestmate Tue 12-Nov-13 20:22:15

I am very close to my ,lovely mother in law. She has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer & this is 'likely to be her last Xmas. I am at a complete loss how to deal with Xmas-they are coming to spend it with us. ( me Dh & 2 kids).
Also Obviously we want to get her some presents but this is compounded by the fact she is profoundly deaf so DVDs, audio CDs text not suitable.
Any words of wisdom welcomed!

Levantine Tue 12-Nov-13 20:24:26

Last year was very similair for us, though we weren't hosting. I really wouldn't do anything different to what you normally do, just ring sensitive about tiredness, pain and so on. But of course everyone is different, thats just what worked for us. So sorry.

DearDinah Sat 16-Nov-13 23:50:18

Possibly the same for us :-( I'm so sorry it completely stinks
We're treating it like any other Year. DMIL loves Xmas, loves playing games, opening presents & eating lovely food, I think the best thing you can do is be there, surround her with family love, normality & joy. Joy that you have each other & you have the here & now to remember & treasure, try not to think of it being the last Xmas, think of it as the best Xmas. If she wants to sleep so be it, if she needs to slink off to bed early it's fine, she will probably feel warmed by the bustle of family around her, my very best wishes to you & your family x

Chottie Wed 20-Nov-13 05:31:41

We're in a similar but same situation. We've decided to put our tears on hold and just enjoy the moment of all being together and the warmth and joy of Christmas.

I agree with keeping things the same, but being sensitive about tiredness and pain.

Mirandasbestmate Wed 20-Nov-13 20:49:41

Thanks all. X

sassytheFIRST Wed 20-Nov-13 20:55:45

We had this the year my mum died - she actually died on Jan 15th and never really came downstairs again after xmas day.

Be as normal as possible - there will be many v bittersweet moments but just use the time to make memories. Talk to her, take lots of pics, do what you'd normally do. As for presents - photobooks are good - she can leaf through them in her own time; my mum found poetry books profound and helpful in her last days (poetry can seem to say so much and they are usually only short reads when a person is tired/lacks concentration). Mum also wanted photograph books of places she'd have liked to visit - The Grand Canyon, China, South African desert - places she'd never have seen and now never would.

Sorry. It's crap. But you'll be surprised how "happy" this last xmas can be. x

sassytheFIRST Wed 20-Nov-13 20:56:54

By photobooks, I mean the books of your own pics which you can make into hardback books - do them.

Mirandasbestmate Wed 20-Nov-13 21:19:09

Thanks sassy - think it's going to take a superhuman effort on all our parts x

Chottie Thu 21-Nov-13 04:23:04

Miranda your MiL will be surrounded by the people who mean the most to her in the world. Your LOs will be all bright and happy over Christmas and seeing their joy will mean a lot to you all smile

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