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Sat watching father die of cancer

(18 Posts)
damppatchnot Tue 05-Mar-13 01:10:21

And nothing has changed since 1985 when his father died at home. It's a bloody joke

Sat with sister no support as nurse said get a bottle of confusedwine

LittlePushka Tue 05-Mar-13 01:27:13

Hi, I was about to go to bed but just wanted to say that i have been there, right in that place where you are now. I wanted to say that while I cannot support you or your Dad, were I able to get to you through the ether, I would just hold you both close. And then a bit closer.

dont get wine, you will need clarity. Even if you dont think you need clarity now, you will want it a way down the line. I keep a diary and I wrote down all my feelings and also conversations I'd had with my Dad.

It is a long road ahead for you and it will get worse before it gets better - and when he seems as distant from you as you could imagine, your writings may bring him a little closer and comfort you.

I wish you and your Dad strength and hope. x

damppatchnot Tue 05-Mar-13 01:34:15

He's completely out of it but talking to him anyway

LittlePushka Tue 05-Mar-13 01:45:33

That is good.

There have been many times I wanted those precious moments back to relive just one more time ,even though they are desparately sad.

Cherish tonight for aferwards.

Stay close to him.

I have to go but you are in my thoughts and prayers. x

damppatchnot Fri 08-Mar-13 06:24:32

Finally at peace

ElectricSoftParade Fri 08-Mar-13 06:26:21

My thoughts are with you x

I hope you managed to say as much as you needed and have some peace yourself x

damppatchnot Fri 08-Mar-13 06:40:09

We were by his side and talking to him to the end x

NotTreadingGrapes Fri 08-Mar-13 06:40:58

Sorry for your loss xx

chezchaos Fri 08-Mar-13 06:47:36

So sorry. I was with there with my mum two years ago, it's completely devastating, thought I was grateful I could hold her hand and talk to her to say everything I wanted to.

Look after yourself over the next few weeks and as a practical consideration, if you bury your dad, think about whether you want to put anything in his coffin with him. I was in such a state with my mum (I was next of kin and executor and also had a toddler and newborn) that I didn't think about it and really regret not including a photo, letter and half a pocket. That's obviously personal to me though.

So sorry x

chezchaos Fri 08-Mar-13 06:48:12

Half a locket*

chezchaos Fri 08-Mar-13 06:56:01

I really hope that doesn't seem insensitive, I just know that sadly practical considerations kick in very quickly at this stage.

damppatchnot Fri 08-Mar-13 10:50:55

We are going to put things in his coffin and I'm going to sort out pictures of him and us and the children for church service so we can look back and remember the good times

QuickLookBusy Fri 08-Mar-13 10:59:58

I'm really sorry damp

I did the same with my darling Dad. I'm so glad I was there for his final moments, I don't regret it for one moment even though it is a traumatic time for you all.

It's a very good idea to put things in his coffin. My dear Dad had given up smoking 30 years previously, but always craved them so we bought a packet of cigarette and put them in his pocket. He would have loved that.x

damppatchnot Fri 08-Mar-13 12:50:32

Thank you such kindness in the world

Bless all our loved ones x

Theas18 Fri 08-Mar-13 12:54:12

Thinking of you all at this sad time.

LittlePushka Fri 08-Mar-13 22:22:25

I was saddened to hear your news and my very best wishes are sent to you, your sister and your other family. I hope that you will feel some snippets of peace in the coming days and weeks.

chickydoo Fri 08-Mar-13 22:27:42

Thinking of you, this thread has made me cry, I'm going through something similar with my mum..It won't be long..
Look after yourself, cherish the memories you have.
Take care

LegoAcupuncture Fri 08-Mar-13 22:29:42

Sorry for your loss x

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