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Are we in the last few weeks?

(84 Posts)
mummynumnum Sat 08-Sep-12 22:42:25

My beloved mil has secondary breast cancer in stomach. Palliative care since two diff types of chemo nearly killed her. Several stays in hospice. Has had stents but bile duct one blocked and attempt to put new one through failed although put one in side. Chose not to have ct scan recently but surgeon implied things have spread. Was stage 4 when diagnosed and has done well to last 2 yrs. Since the last stent surgery she has been in hospice and again nearly died but rallied and came out and was living with us. However, she is now hardly eating, is about 6 stone, has nausea and weakness and has white poo and in pain when on toilet. Are we nearing end? She is buring head in sand and missing appts. Keeps saying she will phone hospice and talk to them but doesn't. Really worried. Should I phone them?

CabbageLeaves Thu 22-Nov-12 06:53:45

Please consider GP for you.

mummynumnum Thu 22-Nov-12 06:59:02

Cabbage leaves-thank you. You sound like a v thoughtful boss!

Trazzletoes Thu 22-Nov-12 07:02:47

Oh OP. what a terrible time for you. <hugs>

girlsyearapart Thu 22-Nov-12 07:12:47

Just wanted to post to wish you luck & strength- you sound like a lovely daughter in law

CabbageLeaves Thu 22-Nov-12 07:32:28

I'm a boss who treats people as I would wish to be treated

You started this thread recognising MiL could really benefit from engaging with medics and get some assistance. You sound so caring but stressed I'd like to think you took your own advice. You are 'support' for that family right now. Time off will get you space to do that well

CelticPromise Thu 22-Nov-12 07:42:47

Dear mummy I am saying a prayer for peace for your MIL. Don't even think about work. My dear mum died last month of advanced bowel cancer so your posts are painfully familiar. DH was able to be with me ( away from home) for some of the time, his HR dept allowed compassionate leave of five days and I think they would have allowed more unpaid. Is there anyone at work you can call to check this out?

Thinking of you and your MIL. Cancer is such an evil disease.

mummynumnum Thu 22-Nov-12 10:38:22

Still clinging o. Breath v short and sharp though x

Haribojoe Thu 22-Nov-12 11:18:26

Thinking of you and praying for peace for your MIL.

lulu2 Thu 22-Nov-12 11:33:30

My thoughts are with you and your family.

caramellattes Thu 22-Nov-12 22:29:18

Thinking of you all. Lost my DM at the weekend - last couple of days so painful to endure, much as you describe with DMIL. Felt as if my heart was being ripped out. Just trying to take comfort from the fact that she is finally at peace and in no more pain from that awful disease xx

laptopcomputer Thu 22-Nov-12 22:42:37

Thinking of you all. We lost my wonderful granny to bowel cancer 4 years ago now, but the last days stay with you. At the very end she was very peaceful and fully reconciled to going, and I hoe your MIL finds the same peace.

mummynumnum Thu 22-Nov-12 23:49:09

My dh and his bro and sisters are all staying at the hospice with her tonight. Apparently her breathing is v shallow. At home with dc in bed and trying to keep myself occupied. sad

BIWI Thu 22-Nov-12 23:50:36

Sorry sad

Bimblepops Thu 22-Nov-12 23:54:13

I'm sorry. Thinking of you all and sending you my love.

Northernlurker Fri 23-Nov-12 00:20:53

Sorry to read your updates. Thinking of you sad

mummynumnum Fri 23-Nov-12 00:47:20

She passed away at 11pm. V sad.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 23-Nov-12 00:55:22

Oh my love, I'm so sorry x This is the first time I have seen your thread, I've just read all of your posts sad No matter how much of a relief it is that they are no longer in pain, it still hurts so much - so so much. Please pass my thoughts onto your DH too, no matter how old you are, losing a parent is very very hard. Lots of love xxx

girlsyearapart Fri 23-Nov-12 06:38:17

So sorry to read this. Wishing you and your family courage & strength to deal with this difficult time

Portofino Fri 23-Nov-12 06:45:48

Sorry to hear your news, yet glad she is not suffering any more. sad xxx

weegiemum Fri 23-Nov-12 06:49:04

So sorry for your loss, but also glad her suffering is at an end. Take care.

CabbageLeaves Fri 23-Nov-12 07:27:14

She is at peace mummy. I hope you and your family has support in their time to grieve. So sorry for your loss

CelticPromise Fri 23-Nov-12 08:28:58

I'm so sorry. I hope it will be a comfort that you did so much for her, and that her children could be with her at the end.

Wishing you all strength and peace.

Northernlurker Fri 23-Nov-12 08:33:19

I'm sorry for your loss. Be very gentle with yourself. You've all just run a long, long race and you won't know how tired you are yet. In a few days it will start to kick in. Just take things very slow and give yourself time to grieve. An expected death is still a shattering blow.

McPhee Fri 23-Nov-12 08:42:38

Leaving warm hugs and a shoulder for you. I'm so very sorry you've all been through this.

We've recently been through this ourselves, and are nearly the end for another family member.

Take what help/support you need for yourself and your family.

Most of all, be kind to yourself

RIP lovely lady


BIWI Fri 23-Nov-12 08:56:13


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