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Very silly and embarassing question

(44 Posts)
EverySingleStar Fri 31-Jul-09 16:38:23

I'm a lesbian trying to conceive with my partner (she will be the one carrying the baby) with a known donor. In about 3 years time I will hopefully be TTC with number 2 (same donor).

Both of us are pretty much gold stars grin and this is going to sound like a very silly question but I'm honestly worried about it...

Will either of us be able to have a vaginal birth? blush Sorry! Sorry!

OldLadyKnowsNothing Fri 31-Jul-09 16:40:46

Probably both of you, unless there are medical conditions which indicate ceasarian section.

raggitty555 Fri 31-Jul-09 16:46:52

Im sorry but i dont know what gold stars mean ........would like to help but as i dont know what thi s means i can t!!

LaurieFairyCake Fri 31-Jul-09 16:47:36

why wouldn't you? It's not like dick stretches you enough for birth grin

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup Fri 31-Jul-09 16:51:04

i'm very intrigued as to why you think you wouldn't be able to... surely not because you are a lesbian??

heavenstobetsy Fri 31-Jul-09 16:53:41

Exactly, LFC!

......... unless you're worried about an unbroken hymen, but if you've ever used a tampon or a dildo that's long gone.... or will be once you've been inseminated (however you choose to do it!)... and even if it wasn't I don't believe that would stop a vaginal birth. A head coming down is going to pop it just the same as anything going up.

Good luck TTC

Mamazon Fri 31-Jul-09 16:54:16

nope. rules state that unless you concieve after at least one shitty sex session with a bloke you have to produce baby from your ear.

honestly, lesbian or alien?

why on earthw ould you think you couldn't?

LeninGrad Fri 31-Jul-09 16:55:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raggitty555 Fri 31-Jul-09 16:57:30

OOOOPS gET IT NOW sorry !!- I would say you wd have no problem unless another medical condition - the female form has had many years being able to give birth - have confidence in the bodys "knowledge "

Mamazon Fri 31-Jul-09 16:58:53

haven't a clue what a gold star is either?

PinkTulips Fri 31-Jul-09 17:09:44

i'm presuming she means both she and her partner are 'virgins' in terms of vaginal penetration

[seeing as no one lese seemed to want to say it out loudwink]

i can't see any reason why it would change much OP.... trust me, cock going up doesn't prepare your fanjo in any way at all for baby coming down, there's a fair size differance even between a generous sized cock and a dinky baby grin

LeninGrad Fri 31-Jul-09 17:10:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 31-Jul-09 17:12:43

Can you imagine the raised eyebrows of mumsnetters if in heterosexual couples DP's/DH's waved their dicks around and said 'let me prepare you for birth' grin

LeninGrad Fri 31-Jul-09 17:14:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mamazon Fri 31-Jul-09 17:17:41

think most of my ex's would be utterly flatterd to think that their cock prepared me in any way for my large of headed 7lb DS to be born.

MrsFawlty Fri 31-Jul-09 17:24:28

"Can you imagine the raised eyebrows of mumsnetters if in heterosexual couples DP's/DH's waved their dicks around and said 'let me prepare you for birth'"

Laurie - roffle! That's got my vote for quote of the week. grin

EverySingleStar Fri 31-Jul-09 17:24:53

Wow lots of replies. Helpful but I feel even more blush now.

Crying now as very emotional - would think pregnant if otherwise biologically impossible smile

I just wasn't sure if the vagina prepares itself for birth the exact same way with everyone or if it helped to be 'ahem' stretched out a bit first.

Gold star = no vaginal penetration by a man
TTC = trying to conceive

Sorry again - I'll go hide now sad

EverySingleStar Fri 31-Jul-09 17:25:44

Also don't ever use dildos or the like. Sorry - just to clear up.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Fri 31-Jul-09 17:32:29

Don't be blush, EverySingleStar. If you don't ask, you can't know.

Best of luck.

LeninGrad Fri 31-Jul-09 17:33:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad Fri 31-Jul-09 17:34:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raggitty555 Fri 31-Jul-09 17:39:43

Maybe get some birth books ? one I had advised me to stretch the perininum using oils- it was that long ago cant remember how to spell it--im not sure if it has any value to do this personally but more reading may help you decide or think about it ....

pasturesnew Fri 31-Jul-09 17:45:35

What Mamazon said!

But it may be helpful to know that labour contractions can have some similarity to period pain and to orgasms (if you are lucky!).

It seemed to me that the way your body reacts in general relates more to the normal female experience in the abdominal area than in the vaginal area.

You would be having really really really bad heterosexual sex if it bore any resemblance to the baby crowning!

I understand you are not interested in finding out the comparison for yourself, but assuming you one day have a vaginal delivery please don't worry about and pity your heterosexual sisters - honestly, it's not like that at all.

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup Fri 31-Jul-09 19:19:38

Oh now i did attempt perineal massage (not really very easy with a baby in the way) and I didn't have any stitches so you never know.

I can categorically state nothing anywhere near as big as dd had been near me before

hester Fri 31-Jul-09 22:45:25

Gosh, I've been an out lesbian for 25 years and never heard of 'gold stars' - this thread has been an education for me grin

Seriously, don't be blush EverySingleStar - I understand why you asked. I can't see why it would be an issue at all in childbirth. But if vaginal penetration is not a common experience for you, I wonder if you might find the internal examinations that come with maternity care a bit tough. Do you have regular smears? If not, you might consider getting some advice on how to relax through an examination. And certainly, tell the midwife and ask her to take her time and use an appropriate-sized speculum.

Very best of luck with ttc! Becoming mums is the best thing dp and I ever did smile

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