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Non-bio mum's feelings about motherhood

(28 Posts)
ellabella2 Tue 07-Jul-09 17:39:40

Hi everyone,
As a brand new MN my DP and I were reading other threads and it started a discussion about what we would call ourselves if I get PG. We are just starting out on TTC.

My DP said she would want to be called by her name as she would see me as the Mummy and herself as a 'carer / guardian'. This was hard to hear for me as I would see us as being very much an equal parenting team. She feels I can't understand how she would feel not having a biological connection to the child.

I'd really value hearing other couples experinces around this. Have things changed once the baby arrives and you can start to bond and develop that parenting role? Should I be worried about she's feeling or is this common?

Any comments, experiences and advice welcome.

Can I also just say how excited I am to have found MN xx

kandle Thu 14-Mar-13 20:15:24

If your partner loves you as much as you love her she surely needs to hear your worries and fears? After all I'm sure you don't want to feel the way you do.

As a non bio mum of one and one on the way I totally understand your feelings and there is nothing wrong with these feelings. Your partner could do more to make you feel involved. Setting a date for the civil partnership would be a start if you are both serious, I can't imagine not having PR for my own child. And yes you can be on the BC if the baby was conceived through AI at home, that's how we did it.

You are not on your own with this have a look at

It may help.

Good luck

lpeel152 Thu 11-Apr-13 14:57:49

Hi Kandle,

I'm currently writing a piece about non bio mothers for a new women's LGBT magazine, would you be interested in sharing your story as a non bio mum? If so I'd love to interview you and find out more about your family!


KarateChopper Sun 14-Apr-13 09:11:38

I have recently started a social networking website for all us LGBT parents to make it easier for us to meet other like-minded people Pop a long and have a look - it's free :-)

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