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advice required

(5 Posts)
pigsmayfly Wed 10-Sep-08 13:49:51

Hi there, not sure if you can shed some light for me but i've had pnd and anxiety problems for a while now, over analysing situations or past situations has been a major problem for me. One of these has suddenly sprung up in the past week, i've been thinking about comments passed years ago by a than new university friend and later a work colleague. My friend at the time remarked in conversation that he had thought i was gay, again a few years down the line at work while taking to a work friend who happens to be gay, another colleage asked if i was a lesbian as she was normally good at spotting one!! Can someone please tell me if as a gay person you can spot as this women said a gay person and i'm missing the clues myself? Ive been happily married for some time now and have never really thought about or considered myself attracted to the same sex, other than the times mentioned above when i questioned why they thought this! I'm sorry this has been a long one and i hope not to come across as rude but i'm worried now that other people can see something in me that i can't myself!

nelix2000 Wed 10-Sep-08 14:51:34

Hiya! well we have "gaydar" ad nine times out of ten its right! but if you have had no gay inclinations and are ahppily married I would not worry or think about it if I were you!....the town I live in is full of happily married women who all look gay to me and send my gaydar spinning! Just because you look a certian way doenst mean you are......really be happy with who you are and how you look!

nelix2000 Wed 10-Sep-08 14:52:14

Hiya! well we have "gaydar" ad nine times out of ten its right! but if you have had no gay inclinations and are ahppily married I would not worry or think about it if I were you!....the town I live in is full of happily married women who all look gay to me and send my gaydar spinning! Just because you look a certian way doenst mean you are......really be happy with who you are and how you look!

hester Thu 11-Sep-08 22:41:14

Pigsmayfly, I think you can relax! Nelix may have a good gaydar - mine is absolute rubbish and I am forever thinking lesbians are straight and vice versa. Honestly, I think people pick up on all sorts of signals which may signify 'gay' to them and mostly it is a load of nonsense. I have been an out lesbian for 25 years and I have never, ever been spotted as gay by anybody who didn't know. If you feel straight, then you are straight: end of!

squigglywig Tue 16-Sep-08 20:08:07

Agree with Hester and with Nelix. My gaydar is all over the place - and it's no substitute for how you feel in yourself! If you were unhappily married, or unhappy in yourself, or knew that you'd always been denying something in your own mind then that would be one thing - but it sounds like you're feeling a bit fragile at the moment and are letting these comments worry you unduly. Enjoy who you are!

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