Budgeting to be lesbian parents(4 Posts)
Hello - I'm new to the site so apologies for any mistakes :-) My partner and I have been together for four years and are planning our wedding for next summer. We'd like to start trying for a family soon after, with the plan being for my partner to 'go first' and have our first child, and me to follow the following year. Having always been in straight relationships in the past, I had never really planned to be the 'breadwinner' in a couple, and had somewhat assumed that when it came to having children, I'd be the same as my friends in the same position and stay at home for a few years, living off my husband's salary...but things didn't work out like that! I earn 60% of our joint income, but only get 10 weeks' full maternity pay from my company, while my partner earns less, but has a better maternity pay policy at her job. We are currently looking at planning out how things might work in terms of maternity and parental leave, what our incomes would be over the next few years, who would take care of the childcare etc. Does anyone have any tips? How does income tax affect what the government maternity calculator provides? We are planning to move out of London to Surrey to our 'forever home' in a better area for raising kids, but the mortgage payments will be higher...How do people survive on only one income?! Sorry for the long message - any ideas or personal experiences would be great. It certainly shines a light on the continued need for equal pay - when I look at how my male friends' or my friends' husbands' salaries have got to in the same space as the girls..!
There's no good way to do it.... and don't forget to budget for conception too! We had it all planned out and then we had a redundancy so there was a massive rethink when DD was 5 days old!
You need to look at whether being in your 'forever home' will mean a bit of temporary belt-tightening or whether it's just not doable. It might be worth staying where you are for a while and then move when the child(ren) are coming up to school age and you're back on a financial even keel.
This board is VERY quiet so you might do better in the Rainbow Families section at Gingerbeer - boards.gingerbeer.co.uk/index.php?board=15.0
or joining the LGBT Families London meet ups - prospective parents are welcome too.
Honestly, best way to do it is to literally save one persons wages and see how you go. That way you'll know how to manage on a strict budget. Also, do you need your forever home now, is it something that can wait. I only say this as you have to factor in costs of childcare along with an increased mortgage for the first five years of a child's life (after that they can go to wrap around care at the school).
Babies can be pretty cheap, you can pick up clothes and all the bits from eBay quite cheaply. It's when they start to hit 5/6 that I've found that they start to notice stuff like expensive toys etc.
Good luck with it all!!
Hi ladies, thanks so much for your messages and support - I had begun to give up hope of a reply! (And for my first post too - sniff! :-) ) We've found a new house now, and done lots of sums on affordability (we're stricter than the mortgage lender lol!) It looks like my salary alone will cover mortgage and bills, but nothing else, so just about doable without any maternity pay, if it came to that. The move is important for us as living in an 'up and coming' area (read: traveller next door neighbours in a council-let flat) is getting us both down. And thanks for the tips about Gingerbeer - I'll take a look! I think I might have seen some of the LGBT London meet-ups in the Southbank Centre and always wanted to join in, but was worried I'd look weird without a baby of my own! So I'll get in touch and no doubt be back soon on a TTC thread :-! Thanks again xx
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