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My brother want to be known as 'they'

(7 Posts)
flixybelle Mon 12-Oct-15 00:47:17

My older brother (who is one of my best friends) came out as gay at 17 ish (now 33) since then he has described himself as third gender and often wears female clothing mainly whilst performing (he does not do drag its more he plays female characters.) We are from a small/dull town my brother doesn't live here any more. Our entire family is very accepting of everything. I have been in his shows as has my husband, we are open with our dds as well. I am incredibly proud of everything my brother does. I refer to him as my sister/ brother interchangeably but only with friends and family beyond that it is brother.

Anyway he announced on FB that he would like to known by the pronoun they. I don't have any issue at all and will support this anyway I can.
Now the problem I have is literally how to use 'they' I am struggling even to write it in this post it just sounds incorrect as if I am talking about multiple people. He has a partner so if I say they people assume I mean them as a couple which I mostly don't. If it was he - she I would have no issue at all so it's not the decision it's the logistics.

Does any of that make sense? Can anyone shed any light?

FeelsLikeHome123 Mon 12-Oct-15 01:46:31

I think your sibling is gender fluid. 'They' is awkward as a pronoun when referring to one person but would accept their(?) wishes

reni2 Mon 02-Nov-15 01:18:10

You'll probably sound weirdly secretive if you said "my sibling is coming this weekend, they and I will go to the theatre". It leaves you to do unnecessary explaining all the time. I'd probably use the name. "Alex is coming this weekend..." But then you'll sound like an infants teacher, "Alex is coming and Alex and I will go to the theatre. Alex likes the atmosphere, Alex is quite artistic."

VashtaNerada Fri 06-Nov-15 07:44:44

You get used to it! Sounds so weird at first but after a while you'll feel comfortable using "they" or their first name. Don't worry too much if you slip up, might take time!

JasperDamerel Fri 06-Nov-15 07:48:37

You get used to it. I have a friend who uses "they" as their pronoun, and it felt linguistically odd at first but now it's just normal.

FinnDaHuman Mon 21-Dec-15 21:37:19


My partner is gender fluid and uses 'they/their/them' pronouns.

It is a little difficult to get the tongue round and it did sound strange to the ear at first but now its second nature to me and it sounds very strange to me when people mislabel my partner as 'her'.

Just try your best. Practice if need be. They put their shoes on etc.

They will really appreciate it smile You sound like an awesome sister x

flixybelle Sun 20-Mar-16 23:30:31

I had totally forgotten about this thread, thank you so much for the advice. I am slowly getting use to it but slip up sometimes. I use their name much more often now.

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