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Don't call me dad! - moan

(9 Posts)
southlondonbaby Sat 27-Jun-15 19:25:50

Bit of an odd rant, but if I don't vent here it'll be a public outburst.

DP is pregnant with our first, and as the 'other mother' I've had quite a few people say things like 'congrats dad!' And 'hello, dad!'

Just... No. Please stop! I know they're trying to be nice and maybe aren't sure about language, so I've laughed it off and said 'mum is fine, ta' but it really makes me cringe.

Has this happened to any other non-bio mums?

Rant over. Thanks.

RuddyHellItsSoftCell Sat 27-Jun-15 19:29:03

I sympathise, that does sound cringe. Hope someone better than me can come up with a response that gets your point across but doesn't sound arsey. I know people aren't trying to annoy you but it would annoy me.

Congratulations and good luck with your new dc btw

candlesandlight Sat 27-Jun-15 19:36:24

Congratulations. I don't think people are trying to upset you, probably just not sure what to say. I have some friends who are gay and have a wonderful son, at first I wasn't sure what to call non bio mum, and didn't want to offend.luckily I was able to ask and clarify before I put my foot in it. X

southlondonbaby Sat 27-Jun-15 22:13:24

Thanks candles and ruddy, just the level headed responses I needed! I know intentions are good, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Just thought, I haven't shaved my legs in a while, maybe they're referring to that hahagrin

TribbleNamedDave Sat 27-Jun-15 22:15:57

Oh how exciting for you both!! I have never heard such a thing in my life, I don't think I'd personally say 'Dad' in such a situation. I'd probably ask how you what names you would be using if I said anything other than 'congratulations.'

notthestereotype Tue 07-Jul-15 11:23:32

Oh yes, that would be very annoying! It's tongue in cheek, I'm sure, but it's a comment which goes hand in hand with 'so which one's the man?' hmm It's always a hetro couple that ask these kind of questions, so I'm always tempted to ask them the same question grin

Oh and congratulations btw! Very exciting flowers

HermioneWeasley Tue 07-Jul-15 11:25:45

Nobody called me "dad", but I did have to correct my PA who was telling everyone I was on "paternity leave" grin

I got kudos from people (usually external suppliers) when I said my baby had been born a few weeks ago, and I was back at work. Had great fun with them telling them I gave birth at my desk, hosed myself down and got on with it - don't know what all the fuss is about etc.

HermioneWeasley Tue 07-Jul-15 11:26:08

Oh, and congratulations!

BathtimeFunkster Tue 07-Jul-15 11:36:05

Had great fun with them telling them I gave birth at my desk, hosed myself down and got on with it - don't know what all the fuss is about etc.


I think some people get the words paternity and parental mixed up, so have some sympathy with your PA.

The "Dad" thing is just weird. confused

I think you're being way cooler ca out it than most people would be.

Congratulations flowers

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