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Im almost 30, divorced, 2 children and Ive just realised I'm bi

(3 Posts)
Rebecca2304 Thu 30-Oct-14 18:09:12


I hope there are others out there to make me feel better! So, I hate having a label on things. Ive always known im attracted to women, I first kissed a girl when I was 12 and kissed them on and off since then, I spent the night with a girl I met in a club when I was 20......on the pretence it was a threesome with my then boyfriend, now ex husband but I couldn't stand him touching her, luckily he passed out drunk! But I then married him and had two children. Yet still kissed women during my marriage, after a few drinks and with his blessing. I have always dismissed my feelings towards women as normal and its "normal" for women to fancy other women. But maybe it isn't. Ive been single for over 3 years now and despite dating and searching I haven't met a man that I really feel anything for except a duty to be dating them. I do fancy men, definitely and I love sex with a man, but ive suddenly realise that what if the reason im not finding my happily ever after is because im looking for it in the wrong form?! What if my soulmate is a woman and im not even letting that possibility happen because im shutting down that option?! So, here I am. Smacked in the face by this realisation and both terrified and excited by it. Can I really open myself up to women, dating a woman, looking at women in that way openly...?! Please say someone else has been through this......?! xx

AloneReed Fri 31-Oct-14 08:34:12

Not been through it as such but know where youI are coming from . . .
I am also divorced and single and have dated a lot in the last 8 years and just can't find a man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I hate to admit this but I just don't find middle aged men attractive!
I don't think I'm a lesbian or bi but I do find women sexually attractive.
I have not seriously considered "batting for the other side" but my children seem to think it is an option being much more open minded than myself!
I have pondered on it and there is one woman who I know is gay I am attracted to BUT i won't take that leap.
I found out recently a woman I know who was married to a man is now in a relationship with another woman and apparently she is very very happy.
I don't think exploring how you feel is wrong. I'm not brave enough and am too used to being on my own now. I have given up dating men. If you can be brave enough then why not? What could you lose?

SuddenRealisation Mon 03-Nov-14 21:35:50

Hi, I am 33 and have recently realised I'm probably gay despite being married with 3DC.

We are working through it. I have always been attracted to women and my main relationships we with women before I met my now H and got married.

For most of the marriage I tired to shut that side of me away.. But I realised one day, that is who I am.

What have you got to lose by exploring this side of you?

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