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early signs or just admiration?

(2 Posts)
ClareaBear Sat 29-Mar-14 16:04:43

Hi all. I also posted this question in the LGBT children section but thought I would post here too to get as many opinions as possible! Hope that's ok (I'm new to mumsnet so not 100% sure on the protocol!)

My DD will be 11 in June. Ever since she was really young she seems to have had a real admiration for beautiful women. When I say "beautiful", I don't mean they are facially absolutely stunning. But she seems really drawn to very elegant, demure actresses/singers etc. She had pictures of Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie on her walls when she was 5 years old when most of her friends had cartoon characters or Hannah Montana! And she always thought Bree from Desperate Housewives (Marcia Cross) was some kind of goddess!

I remember when she was 6 years old there was an advert on TV for pizza. It was one of those kind of sensual and very elegantly done adverts: a beautiful brunette lady and her boyfriend eating their pizza over looking Rome. She turned to me and said "he is so lucky that he can be with her!!" I also remember when she watched Titanic for the first time, she said "I'm jealous of Jack, Rose is so pretty!" Also anyone remember the Dior advert with Nicole Kidman? She'd watch that over and over again on youtube.

She's never had any younger celebs are role models, so Hannah Montana, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato etc, like many girls her age. and a few years back how it would have been The Olsen Twins/Hilary Duff etc. She also adores The Duchess of Cambridge and keeps all newspaper pages with her in it.
When she was in reception I remember her really admiring the "older girls" the 11 year olds in year 6. Now she's at secondary school she seems to really look up to the 6th form girls. Whenever we are watching a movie she will always comment on the actresses over the actors, but it's always along the lines of "wow she's beautiful" or "I love her hair" or "I hope I look like that when I grow up!"

So I guess I'm asking, are these signs that she may be bi-sexual/ gay? Or does she simply admire women? She certainly shows an interest in boys too, she adores Nial from One Direction and I over heard her and her friends talk about which member of Union J they would most like to kiss and she was very involved in the conversation. But she did tell me that at school the girls were playing a game where they created the "perfect man" by taking someone's head and putting it onto someone else's body and she said she found it really boring after about 5 minutes but her friends were all really into it. But I've never heard her talk about women in any sort of sexual way, nor have I ever found anything on the family laptop showing she has been exploring her sexuality.

She's had her fair share of little playground boyfriends! done all the marriages with Haribo rings etc. She seems to have a bit of a crush on a year 8 boy at the moment who she's talked about a few times. And I guess it's the fact that she is so drawn to the "demure" sophisticated ladies that makes me think maybe it is just admiration, not sexual? It's not like she is glued to all the very sexual music videos around these days nor does she seem too fussed watching tv/movies when women dress in a certain's just the elegance she seems to be drawn to.

Anyway sorry for the long post!! It goes without saying if she was gay/bi it wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I hope she knows that. I just find it interesting how her role models are the Nicole Kidman's out there when all her friends love the teen/early 20s celebs

Ihatebubbleguppies Fri 04-Apr-14 11:46:26


Well when I first started reading your post, I have to say, I did think that it could very well be early indication of her sexuality in the future. However, the more I read and the more I think about it, it sounds more like she simply has a bit of a facination of, what she sees as, beautiful women. It sounds to me, more like she wants to be these women, rather than having other thoughts.

Would she have lots of support if she did actually come out as bi or gay though?

I'm 29 and bi sexual and when I came out at 27 to my mum, it was the scariest thing I've ever done. If she hadn't been supportive and accepting, I don't know what I would have done. That's not to say it wasn't a complete shock to her and everyone really, because she thought I was way too girly and feminine to be this way inclined grin

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