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Starting IUI with donor sperm.

(12 Posts)
Kiki4 Thu 03-Oct-13 14:32:34

Hi. I'm new to this site.
I'm 31 and my wife is 41. We are planning to try for a baby in March.

It's exciting and scary.

I will be birth mother as we have just found out my partner (who is 41) is going through the menopause early!sad

I feel excited. All I've ever wanted is to be a mummy. But I also feel a little bad for my wife because I know she has fears about not being the birth mother and not feeling that connection with the child.

I understand this but would be greatful if I could maybe talk this through with any other couples who have been through this or are going through this.

We will be trying IUI with donor sperm. Apparently I have an excellent ovarian reserve for my age. My antral follicle count is 17.

Is anyone in a similar situation?

Many thanks,

Kiki x

armsinjumpers Thu 03-Oct-13 20:54:44

Hi, my wife and I have been in your position. I'm almost 43 and non bio mum to a 2.5 year and and we have another due in 4 weeks.

I went through lots of angst about whether I'd feel like our child's "real mum" and if I'd bond with her.

However from moment of conception I loved her in no different a way to my wife. The older she gets the stronger our relationship becomes, we're inseparable and she sees no difference between her mummies.

Happy to chat some more any time.

Good luck

Kiki4 Fri 04-Oct-13 16:35:43

Hey, lovely to hear from you.
And congrats on your kids!smile. We're you involved a lot during the pregnancy, birth etc.....
I would really like my wife to be involved as much as possible.

armsinjumpers Fri 04-Oct-13 21:46:36

Yes I was completely involved throughout.the pregnancy and because we opted for a home birth I was able to help deliver our daughter, be the first to see her face, determine her sex and cut the cord! I couldn't have been more involved.

Kiki4 Fri 04-Oct-13 21:56:03

That's amazing! Truly special. I don't think I would opt for a home birth. But I really hope my wife can be involved as much as possible in hospital setting x

oreoaddict Tue 08-Oct-13 17:57:55

Kiki, my girlfriend and I are seriously looking into this too and are very excited, but of course, also a little scared.

I already have a 6 year old dd from a previous relationship and dp is absolutely brilliant with her. Dd has really brought out her maternal side, which she genuinely didn't know existed! We'd love to give dd a sibling in a year or two. We also need to get finances etc, sorted first.

I really hope everything works out well for the two of you smile

bluepumpkin Wed 16-Oct-13 22:46:10

Hi, my partner and I have just had our first child following donor iui. I found the hospital staff very accepting and involving of my partner (I'm the birth mother). I also found the clinic managed it all very sensitively. Good luck!

mrswishywashy Wed 16-Oct-13 22:46:32

My wife (39) and I (35) are at the beginning of the process with hopeful first insemination on January cycle.

We are been treated at London Women's Clinic and have had initial consult, blood tests and internal ultrasound. I am waiting on AMH results. We have booked in a counselling session and for me a HyCoSy. We plan to set aside donor sperm by end of December - all ready for January to use.

I will carry the baby and my wife has always said she never felt the need to carry a baby and has enough love to give our baby even though she didn't give birth to one. I've said if at any point she does want to try we can do that.

A bit nerve wracking as so expensive but will keep positive and hope we get pregnant on first IUI.

2mummies4me Wed 23-Oct-13 00:59:44

We too are with The London Women's Clinic, opting for the iui treatment. Been up there today for our counseling session, which went very well. Had all the other tests, all of which were fine. So our next step is the insemination, which we are looking to do in Dec/Jan.

My partner is 32 and I am 42. My partner will carry the pregnancy, as this will be her first child. I have a 20 year old daughter and a 16 year old son from a previous relationship. We are both very excited and a little nervous as to how long it will take to conceive.

Its just good to converse with others in a similar position.

We have even started a fb page callef "I have 2 mummies / daddies, so to enable others to ask and offer advise on various aspects of becoming parents.

Bumblebee55 Mon 04-Nov-13 18:56:27

Hi All. I'm new to this site but just been reading all your posts. I know I'm a little late in posting on this thread but thought I'd give it a go!!

My partner and I have an 17 month old son through IUI treatment using a sperm donor. I am the birth mother and my partner was very much involved in the treatment, pregnancy and the birth. She has such a special bond with our son you would think we both carried him!

I don't want to go on too much so all I will say is our road to having our baby was a little bit rough but when you are at the end of the road with your new born son in your arms it was worth it! All you can do is make sure you and your partner talk about how you are feeling throughout and never give up hope!

Money permitted will will be trying for another one next year, fingers crossed!

Good luck to everyone trying.

jojo1314 Mon 04-Nov-13 21:30:10


Me and my partner are also visiting the London Women's Clinic (Darlington) shortly to begin the first steps of hopefully starting a family! I'm 34, my partner is 30. I will be carrying the child.

I'm feeling a mixture of excited & scared at the moment, which I guess is completely normal smile

It's great to read these posts and see that there's other couples going through this.

Goodluck everybody! X

user1477304990 Thu 27-Oct-16 12:16:22


I know this is an old post but I was wondering if anybody had any tips for us.

We are about to start the process for IUI, however we have an appointment with a counsellor next week, I wasn't worried until a friend of a friend said the process is quite in depth.

Whilst I don't mind this and any questions they may have (we will of course be nothing but honest) I just wondered if anybody had any idea of the sort of questions asked, I always like to be organised (but I'm not very good in any sort of interview environment etc)

I am 42 and my partner is 37.

Thanks smile

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