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What are peoples opinions on Egg Sharing as an option to having a baby

(13 Posts)
queenofthefairies Thu 01-Sep-11 21:03:36

Hi All

My partner and I are off to a fertility clinic tomorrow to discuss our options... We've been sent some information On Egg Sharing... Which basically means that if I donate half of my retrieved eggs we get our IVF treatment free. We only have to pay for the donor sperm and our initial consultation. Certainly makes it all alot cheaper.... but its very involved especiallly as i have any fertiliy issues that im aware of.... may be its more successful though.... may be its good to give something to another couple to enable them to have a baby as the sperm donor is to us.... but is IUI very successful.... hmmm

Has anyone got any thoughts/experience to share?

LeninGrad Thu 01-Sep-11 21:12:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad Thu 01-Sep-11 21:17:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

queenofthefairies Thu 01-Sep-11 21:28:48

Im 29yrs old. As far as Im aware i dont have any fertility problems, although my periods are getting further and further apart as i have got older.

LeninGrad Fri 02-Sep-11 12:01:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dogscatsandbabies Tue 06-Sep-11 13:26:14

We had DD, now 6 months, through IUI with unknown donor sperm. Took us 4 attempts (pregnant on 3rd but sadly miscarried). We talked an awful lot about egg sharing as we also received the information and like you say, it looks like a cheaper option for the success rate.

I don't have any problems with donating my eggs to another couple, especially since having DD and knowing that her genetics play no part whatsoever in determining who her family is. She looks more like DP than she does like me anyway, and I'm the bio mum!!!

My reservations about IVF are with regards to the amount of intervention that is required and I would advise that if you don't need it, don't do it. For us, the biggest problem was with the distance we live from the clinic and the practicalities of having to travel regularly for scans to check when the eggs are ready for harvesting. When we try again, we'll definately try IUI and only progress to IVF if we have no success. At that point, I'd be really keen to donate eggs, if you're having to go through the palava anyway I guess you may as well.

But I think you need to consider lots of things and if you do go for it, counselling is compulsory to ensure you've thought it all through. One big point that I would stick on if going for it would be that YOUR treatment might not be successful but SOMEONE ELSE could get pregnant from your donation. It's very easy to be generous and pleased for someone else if you also have a baby but not at all easy to be at peace with it if you don't. (I could be wrong here, but I think that if you donate you are informed if there are 'birth events' from your eggs.) Just worth thinking about in advance I guess.

Hope all goes well.

pixarmum Mon 12-Sep-11 12:57:32

I am having IUI at present, on my second cycle. I have thought about egg sharing, but I'm not sure, mainly because if there are live birth events then it would be difficult to live with that if I could not conceive myself. On the other hand, if I can't conceive it might be a better option than never having passed on my genes etc... All quite emotionally difficult! I would strongly consider IVF but might just end up paying for it all, the good thing about that is storing all the other eggs for future use, which is a big bonus. I would try three cycles of IUI before you go for IVF if you have no fertility problems, it's much cheaper. Good luck!

SamPioneer Wed 21-Sep-11 12:56:37

Hi All!

Any one know of any pregnant Gay parents due in the next 2 months?

itsmekatielou Wed 21-Sep-11 15:53:45

personally, i couldn't do it. I commend those who can, because its such a brave and honourable thing to do. I just couldn't live with knowing that a child that is biologically mine has been born to another mother. I think this is why i find it hard to understand how men can donate so willingly.
I would love to think that i could offer someone the chance to be a mother, because i want it so badly for myself, and would hope that someone would do it for me, but i think its something that would bother me for the rest of my life. So like i said, i can't fault the women who do it, because its an amzing thing to do, but its not for me.

rhetorician Wed 21-Sep-11 19:56:31

sam ? DP due in 10 weeks (does it have to be 2 months?); why do you want to know? confused

wrighty2010 Fri 23-Sep-11 16:35:54

Hi just wondered how you got on and what you decided to do? I spent a long time looking for a sperm donor and can never repay the person that helped me. I have met a lot of women who need help via an egg donor, I am too old to help now but wish that i had when i had the chance although i have been told it is quite an invasive procedure and not that nice so hats off to anybody that does it, think your amazing. Good luck xx

notjustme Fri 23-Sep-11 19:58:15

Not egg sharing but in the early planning stages of being an egg donor for DP's sister - still got a long long way to go (not even got a formal answer as to whether they are accepted for IVF).

If it gets to the point of actually donating eggs, I imagine I will be in a situation at some point to consider whether to donate some to DPs sister and if there's any left - to donate in general. I'm not sure whether there'd be the chance to have them frozen for my own future! I am happy to donate to DP's sister but not sure at all how I would feel to be an unknown donor.

I look forward to the counselling! I have spent a lot of time trying to come up with reasons NOT to donate to the SIL, and failed to come up with anything aside from the health concerns. I hope someone in the future will ask questions that will make me think out of the box.

queenofthefairies Sun 25-Sep-11 20:53:12

Hi All

Thank you for your messages [smile]

We went to the clinic a few weeks ago now...On a down note we have found that IUI at a clinic isn’t really going to be a financial option for us (we could afford 1-2 goes but couldn’t keep going + we would like to have more than one child) so self funded IVF is definitely out of the question too.... We've decided Egg sharing is a very extreme measure so has been classed as a very last resort...

On an up note we've had a bit of a result with our GP! Initially we went to see my usual GP who lets just say clearly felt the idea of us having a baby quite amusing. Unhappy with the outcome of that consultation we booked an appointment to see my partners GP the next day.

My partner’s GP considers my partner abit of an "interesting case" as she has a very rare muscle condition that has left her in a wheelchair, so usually the GP cant do more for her. Indeed as we hoped my partners GP was positive elated at the concept of us having a child. I came away with forms for a whole list of blood tests to check my fertility... depending on the results I may have a scan to check my tubes. She’s going to look into NHS funded IVF and what she could do in terms of medication and screening of potential donors to help us conceive at home using donor sperm from a private arrangement.

Will keep you ladies all posted... but im passing on abit of advise that one of you ladies gave me... " ^We found not asking if we did qualify, but just breezily assuming that OF COURSE we would have the same entitlement as other couples worked well for us. Politely telling rather than asking” ^… It worked!!!

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