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Parental rights advice needed

(9 Posts)
jaxmagliz Sun 26-Jun-11 23:44:08

Hi
Can anyone who's going or been through this point me in the right direction?

A Lesbian couple cohabiting but not in a civil partnership with a known donor (conceiving at home without a fertility clinic) who does not wish to be a co-parent or on the birth certificate and who wants minimal involvement in the babies life. A donor agreement saying this has been signed. Where do we go from here getting parental responsibility for the none birth mother? Can the none birth mother be added to the birth certificate as a parent at a later date once the couple are married?

Glittergrrrl Sun 26-Jun-11 23:47:19

hi there,

have a look here: http://www.stonewall.org.uk/at_home/parenting/3463.asp

i hope this answers some of your questions

:-)

jaxmagliz Mon 27-Jun-11 21:51:06

Thank you for the info. I'm really having issues about having to be in a civil partnership prior to conception at home to be allowed a second parent named on the birth certificate. I find it very discriminatory and old fashioned when heterosexual couples don't have to be married to have both names on the certificate.

maxine5 Thu 30-Jun-11 16:52:31

Message withdrawn

LeninGrad Thu 30-Jun-11 17:35:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jaxmagliz Fri 01-Jul-11 06:54:09

I was actually seeking the advice for my daughter and her partner. They do intend to marry hopefully at the end of next year but due to circumstances as they are felt the time was right now to start a family rather than later. Maybe eventually the law will catch up with modern times and will be reviewed to make it less discriminatory. Does anyone know once you enter into a civil partnership if you can apply to have the none birth parent's name on the certificate? Some info I read seemed to suggest that.

kandle Fri 01-Jul-11 20:03:05

Hi Jaxmagliz

No a couple cannot have the non bio mum's name added to the birth certificate after CP. Unfair yes, but unfortunately that is the law as it currently stands.

I'm the non bio mum/ 2nd parent and on the birth certificate of my daughter and we looked into this very carefully before she was conceived as it was so important I was on her BC and I had parental responsibility.

To be fully protected your daughter and her partner are so much better off if in a CP.

We used a known donor and he will always have a place in our daughter's life but just not on paper.

Good luck

wrighty2010 Fri 01-Jul-11 21:46:10

Hi, might be worth you looking at Pride Angel, they have a legal help on the forum who specialises in family law in relation to gay parents, you can email them direct or alternatively post a message, if you have any further questions they may be able to help. (The link is http://www.prideangel.com) hope this helps. best wishes xx

drivingmisscrazy Sun 03-Jul-11 18:12:46

I do take the OP's point about discrimination, but at the same time I think it's worth remembering that this is one of the few situations where a legal relationship de facto confers the same rights as arise from a biological one (worth remembering perhaps that the only situation in which the non-bio father of a donor conceived child would be on the birth cert would be - I think - if the parents were married, so not in that sense different from a straight couple, just different to a situation where both parents are biologically related to the child).

I am bound to be a bit hmm as even though DP and I are in a CP, we don't live in the UK so I as the non-bio mum have no legal relationship to DD at all. I can't adopt her, or apply for legal guardianship, except, possibly, in the event of DP's death. So I'm afraid I am with Lenin on this - if you sign up for the monumental responsibility of having a child with someone, I think that the CP is simply a legal safeguard and can be treated as such. Call me old-fashioned...but as far as I can see there is no discrimination here, simply donor-conceived children of gay couples are being treated the same way as those of straight (married) couples. I wish I could say the same of the place where I live...

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