How likely is it to have the first round of IVF work?

[saoirse86]

My SIL and her DP have just had IVF and had 2 viable eggs implanted.

I'm so excited about it but I don't know much about IVF. So I'm wondering really how many times it took any of you to successfully conceive.

It's really really early days (as in they haven't even done the pregnancy test yet).

I'm finding it nerve-wracking, it must be awful if you're actually the one going through it!

[drivingmisscrazy]

don't know, but I certainly know of a few cases where this has happened; how old is SIL/DP (you don't say which one is carrying)? have they had other tries which were unsuccessful (IUI, say); if there aren't any obvious fertility problems and they are not too elderly, it should be fine.

We didn't go down the IUI/IVF route, partly because it seems to me, anecdotally, that clinics are often quite keen to use IVF with lesbian couples even though there is no clinical reason to do so...but I really hopes it works for them - you sound very excited about it

[bemybebe]

I think (experts please correct me if wrong) that provided you are comparing fresh cycles with fresh cycles the chances are the same... of course woman's age is different, but if it is months and not years it should not make a lot of difference.

Some bodies respond well to drugs, but some do not or need different doses from standard protocols, in which case the chance may be better later on.

Earlier frozen cycles may have better chances because better quality embies are used first. Otherwise they should be the same again.

Ultimately, it is all a lottery. I had "perfect" embies and my body was responding perfectly to drugs in two IVF cycles (fresh and frozen), yet, we did not have our babies. I got pregnant naturally waiting for the 3rd IVF cycle to start, having been told previously that the chances are next to nil (v low sperm mortility)... so go figure.

[saoirse86]

It's her DP who's carrying. She's 33 or 34, I'm not sure, she's very fit, active, healthy and slim and has no known fertility problems.

I don't know much about any of this so I don't know what IUI means () but they haven't tried before. They've used an unknown donor and there isn't anyone in RL as such that they'd want to use as a sperm donor. I did suggest to my DP that he could do it and then it would be a really close match characteristic and DNA-wise to his sister but he wasn't interested!

Apparently they were surprised that her eggs weren't as good as they'd thought they would be which is why she's only had 2 viable ones implanted. I would assume they were fresh eggs as they only had their first appointment 3 months ago, but I'm not sure.

It sounds as though they've kind of thrown all their savings at this and they may not be able to do it again for a while if it doesn't work, so I'm really hoping it does.

[drivingmisscrazy]

no reason why you should! most people do it the ordinary way...Inter-Uterine-Insemination. I wonder why they were advised to go straight to IVF - normally you'd try a couple of IUIs with donor sperm and then move on. But perhaps they felt that the chances were better with IVF.

We used a known donor, but that's a long story (a good one, it's worked brilliantly); I think your DPs instincts were probably right, although I know instances where people have done this. I am the non-bio mum to DD (2 and a bit) and we are expected DC2 - again my partner is carrying. I can honestly say that the DNA bit doesn't matter to me, although I know it does to some people. I love her and she is my daughter.

[saoirse86]

I guess it doesn't matter for them much either, although they did choose a donor with ginger hair as SIL has ginger hair!

I don't know about the IUI/IVF thing, maybe you're right. It does seem as though they want it to be as quick as possible so maybe that's why.

[saoirse86]

Before I had my DD I was told I'd probably not conceive naturally and my twin sister said she'd donate eggs for me if I needed them in the future. It was around that time that I had the conversation with DP about donating sperm. I suppose it was because it felt like the best idea for me so I thought he might think the same for his sister. Oh well, hopefully it'll work out this way for them and no one will have any issues over biology!

[drivingmisscrazy]

success rates are higher with IVF I think - fingers crossed for them; no direct experience, but it's a roller-coaster whichever way you go

[bemybebe]

IUI are lower success rate but much cheaper than IVF (which is also heavy duty on the body). Even for the under 30s success rate is around 35% success for fresh cycle, it goes down rapidly and is under 10% for someone in their 40s. Given that one has at best 1/3 chances to succeed it is advised to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

I had clinical depression after my first IVF failed, I was so convinced it will work because there is nothing wrong with me (infertility is on my dh side) and all was progressing so well until the actual test that came negative. FX for your sil and her dp!!!

[saoirse86]

Oh bemybebe I had no idea it was so low. I'm keeping my fingers crossed then. They've planned a holiday where SIL's DP would usually go surfing. She's hoping that sod's law will stop her surfing because she's pregnant! I did something similar before I found out I was pg, I wanted to do a charity sky dive but couldn't in the end.

Are you pg now then?

[bemybebe]

I am 23 weeks tomorrow, still worrying about things going wrong with this pregnancy, but I also appreciate there are always things to worry about once one has kids... I am just so desperate to have a child of my own. Have 4 lovely step kids, but it is just not the same, they are lovely (and grown up now), but our relationship was always more of a older/younger friend, not a parent/child... it could never be with 2 loving and very hands-on parents already...

[bemybebe]

Have a look at this link
www.hfea.gov.uk/fertility-clinics-success-rates.html#1

You will see success rate is a very complex number to calculate and has lots of variables... I am sure the clinic would have given the relevant number to your SIL and dp and discussed the "implications of the treatment" with them. I think by law they are obliged to provide this consultation. We did, it is just that I was convinced that I would be the one from the 30%-something data cell and not from the one for who the treatment would fail.

[saoirse86]

Thanks for the link.

I hope your pregnancy goes well. I knew I'd seen your name somewhere, it must have been on the pregnancy board. I can understand how worryiong it must be for you, you must be happy with each day that passes and your LO's still tucked up safely in there.

It's times like this I realise how lucky I am, I'd been told I'd struggle to conceive so stopped using protection and ended up pregnant within about 6 weeks! She's the best thing that's happened to us and I hadn't realised how much I wanted to be a mum until I had her. I hope they get to experience all that in 9 months. And I'm secretly hoping they get to experience the sleepless nights too!

[bemybebe]

Thank you saoirse!!