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any wannabe samesex mummies out there?

(34 Posts)
itsmekatielou Thu 26-May-11 14:15:22

My wife and i are hoping to start a family soon. Just wondered if anyone else was in the same boat? it'd be nice to have someone to talk to about it.


RainbowFamilyFinder Tue 21-Aug-12 13:39:01

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

lizziebennet Tue 22-Nov-11 12:59:11

About going straight for IVF katielou - we had 3 X IUI and are now moving on to IVF and I kind of feel that we've wasted our time a bit. IUI is not much less intrusive than IVF and yet IVF is 3 times more likely to work. I guess I feel if you are going to have to take all the drugs/have all the scans/spend all that time in stirrups you may as well be going for the most-effective treatment, especially when it comes to using using frozen sperm, where IUI is more pot luck. Of course, if IUI had worked for us, I'd probably be singing its praises.

vrose123 Sat 19-Nov-11 20:03:39

After reading the forum responses about I was wondering if anyone has managed to have free treatment for DIUI or IVF on the nhs (for same sex couples) and if so, whether you had to appeal against your local PCT or NICE guidelines? If you have, it would be good to hear from you!

queenofthefairies Sun 25-Sep-11 21:12:28

Thank you all for your direct and indirect guidance... i think my partner and I were not all that well inform on Home insemination vs Clinic insemination.

We were very much leaning towards clinic insemination before.

expuffinbookclub Thu 22-Sep-11 20:36:05

I have a 3 month old son conceived through IVF at my local NHS hospital. I didn't have ant fertility issues either and was offered the same treatment as heterosexual couples. Have you been to your GP for a referral? I had 3 cycles of IUI first but had an ectopic pregnancy 3rd time so had IVF after to minimise the risk of a repeat. We used anonymous sperm, until 18, from a recognised clinic which we paid for. Otherwise treatment was all funded. The advantage of using sperm from a clinic recognised by the HFEA is that we are both on the birth certificat.e and donor has rescinded all parental rights but you might want to co-parent so realise there are different options. Good luck with your journey x

itsmekatielou Wed 21-Sep-11 15:47:16

hi everyone, i've done my usual trick of not reading posts for ages and then come back to loads of replies!! I obviously didn't see the post by GSpot, but judging from the username, it clearly either wan't very imaginative or stupid. Perhaps even both.

Going to what some of the others have highlighted, i've often wondered why some girls go straight for IVF instead of IUI, is it what the doctors recommend? i understand if it gives you more of a chance, but it just seems really intrusive and aggressive, if IUI might work, you know?

on another note, its really wonderful that there are quite a few of us all in the same boat. When i first started looking about for other same sex wannabe mums, i found it really hard to even find one. Its really comforting to know there are others and that it has worked for other people. Thanks guys.

NormaStanleyFletcher Fri 16-Sep-11 19:02:55

I have reported g spot

rhetorician Fri 16-Sep-11 18:55:38

IfoundmyGspot - whatever else you might think, dependence on state handouts is really not a frequent feature of lesbian households with children...

lumili Thu 15-Sep-11 09:57:52

To IfoundmyGspot,

What the hell are you talking about!!

IfoundmyGspot Tue 13-Sep-11 09:02:10

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

wrighty2010 Mon 12-Sep-11 14:47:59

HI, just been reading the new posts, just wondered why people go the IVF route if it isn't necessary? I agree that the drugs they give you can really mess you up if you have no fertility problems, I also agree trying at home can be a hassle but may be worth trying prior to going down an unneccesary route? However at least with ivf you dont hae to find your own donor.
queen-you mentioned syringes, I bought a kit from a website, Pride Angel, they included extender tips which i hadn't seen elsewhere, they are supposed to help the sperm by giving them a shorter distance to travel to the cervix. It worked for me on the second go. May be worth you looking into?! Hope things go well for you, keep us updated. Good luck xx

pixarmum Mon 12-Sep-11 13:04:40

I am in my second cycle of IUI, hoping not need IVF. Already have 2 year old son from IUI. I would definitely try natural IUI before moving on to treatment with drugs etc. Good luck to you!

lizziebennet Mon 05-Sep-11 09:13:51

That's great - well done!

If the scan to check your tubes is an HSG/Hycosy thing with the dye, then definitely take some painkillers an hour beforehand and arrange to have the rest of the day off after. I was told it would be a bit like a smear, which was something of an understatement.

Best of luck with the tests and with the treatment.

queenofthefairies Sat 03-Sep-11 22:39:55

We went back to the doctors and saw a my partners GP this time. The GP was GREAT. Have a whole stack of blood tests to attend for to check my fertility. Having a scan to check my tubes. In the meantime the GP is researching if we would meet IVF criteria and what she could do in the way of medicines to ensure/predict when I ovulate if we went down a private arrangement at home route....

We took the advice from one of you mumsnetters to see a different GP and go in with more determination to get what we want (after seeing my usual GP and her not taking me seriously)..... and it worked! Obviously theres no guarantees but we have 110% support from a GP which is a great start.

lizziebennet Fri 02-Sep-11 09:52:23

I've already replied to queen, but in case it's useful to others, we are in Glasgow.

queenofthefairies Thu 01-Sep-11 18:21:46

lizziebennet Firstly i wish you and your DW the very best of luck with your next cycle...

Can I ask which PCT you are under/what area of the country you are from?

We'd like to enquire about getting our treatment nhs funded and would be helpful to know where others have been successful.

Claire4285 Thu 01-Sep-11 16:37:50

Hi Katie

Me and my DP want to be need to extend our house or move and then save to have the IVF we want (her eggs, my womb, sperm donor). I have 3 children from my previous marriage so we have 3 lovely kids so we arent in any rush. Waiting for them to be a bit bigger 1st to start with! They are 6, 5 and 4.

I hope everything goes well for you.


lizziebennet Thu 01-Sep-11 09:47:43

I'm pretty shocked that everyone else on here seems to have had to go private to get treatment. My DW and I are currently trying for a baby and we're entitled to 3 x IUI and 2 x IVF. We did have to pay for the sperm ourselves, but that's about a shortage of NHS donors, not our sexual orientation. We have had to be a little bit assertive, but have been treated the same way as any other couple who can't make a baby between the two of them. After all, we pay our taxes too.

Getting off my soapbox.....we've been surprised by how severe the side-effects of some of the drugs are, but once you are in a cycle and taking the various meds you just get your head down and get on with it.

No luck for us in the first two IUI cycles, so keeping our fingers crossed for cycle number 3.

queenofthefairies Wed 31-Aug-11 22:35:13

Hello smile

My Partner and I are off to have a preliminary chat with our GP tomorrow and then our local Fertility clinic on friday. We cant afford IVF either so our options seem IUI or Egg Sharing (ie having our IVF treatment paid for except the donor sperm by another couple who would receive half my retrieved eggs).

As a Nurse myself im pretty clued up on whats involved by both processes from a medical point of view but would love to hear others experiences/thoughts etc and of course share my own.

Still trying to get my head round how i feel about egg sharing. in a way i think its nice to give a couple something to help them in there journey to be parents as the sperm donor will do for us.... hmmm still pondering on that....

2 years ago we had 4 attempts with a Private arrangement, I got pregnant but sadly miscarried. Id be happy to consider a private arrangement again but we our donor last time went alittle weird on us... started sending me texts in the middle of the day "his top tips on conception".... e.g he advised we use a 20ml syringe now not a 10ml.... I dont know... seems eaiser and cheaper to do it all at home but not sure we want that hassle again.

Anyway thats my thoughts.....

elfgypsy Thu 18-Aug-11 19:49:29

Hi, I have a gorgeous dd who is 6 months old, she came to me thru a known donor artificial insemination at home, it worked on the first cycle but took 4 years for us to find a willing donor, great to see al these other gay mums smile

itsmekatielou Sun 14-Aug-11 01:19:34

so sorry for the delay in getting back to you lovely ladies, i didn't get any email notifications that anyone had replied so didn't think anybody had!!! i am over the moon with the responses and would love to chat to you all a bit more!! this is brilliant. i've just started a blog about our experiences too, feel free to have a look, its yippee there are other gay mummies out there too!!!

K8Kate Mon 27-Jun-11 20:58:20


We started our journey at the beginning of June. We're at the London Women's clinic. Plan us to use dp's eggs and for me to carry. Currently synching our cycles whilst waiting for test results. We are using donor sperm from the European Sperm Bank.

So excited...


scaryfairy28 Fri 24-Jun-11 20:01:24

Get in touch if you want to chat or have any questions.

KateandKatie Thu 23-Jun-11 10:42:30


I've just joined up looking for exactly the same thing. My partner and I have found a donor (through Pride Angel) and have our first donation due on Thursday. Really nervous about it, heard so many stories about people being let down so trying not to get hopes up but am also just hugely excited!! smile
Would love to hear other poeples experiences, thoughts and views and chat to anyone in same position
K xx

weemc1971 Tue 21-Jun-11 23:11:21

My partner and I have dd age 7 mth and ds 2 yrs. I have also a17 yr old dd. We used diui which is donor intro uterine insemination Any way we can advice pls get in touch x

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