I think my brother is gay.

[pongonperdy]

Not sure wher to post this.

Firstly I want to say that I have no problem if he is gay but would like to know.

It may be a silly question but are there any tell tale signs to look out for.

[AnyFuleSno]

what makes you think he might be?

There's no way to tell other than asking him but I wouldn't unless you're pretty sure. He would tell you when he's ready I'm sure?

[Valpollicella]

I'm pretty sure there are no 'signs' unless he introduces you to his partner/boyfriend.

What makes you think he is? And if he is, do you really need to know?

I only ask because I can't imagine it being something I'd wonder about. In the same way whether I'd never ask myself if my brother was heterosexual.

Sorry if that all seems a bit harsh, I'm just trying to understand :)

[Valpollicella]

I'm pretty sure there are no 'signs' unless he introduces you to his partner/boyfriend.

What makes you think he is? And if he is, do you really need to know?

I only ask because I can't imagine it being something I'd wonder about. In the same way whether I'd never ask myself if my brother was heterosexual.

Sorry if that all seems a bit harsh, I'm just trying to understand :)

[pongonperdy]

Only curious as by Antibes standards he is a good catch but remains single.

He is 30 . Good job. Good looking. He takes great pride in his appearance and always wears nice clothes. He goes on holiday with female friend whose boyfriend seems to be fine with it.

I don't want to ask as don't want to potentially offend. I don't need to know but would be nice to.

[pongonperdy]

That should be anyones.

[FakePlasticTrees]

I wasn't sure about my brother for years, but finally my mum decided she needed to know, but asked in such a vage way*, when she told me, I said I wouldn't be able to work out what she'd just asked, so should I just phone him and ask him if he is gay? (I did, he is, the 'friend' we all like is his boyfriend.)

Perhaps you should just ask. It made things easier with my brother. Who'd assumed that we'd all knew and he hadn't thought to make an announcement.



*She asked about how he'd like an invite to my wedding to be worded - did he need an "and guest" invite, and when he said "yes, if numbers aren't too tight" she asked "Should I take it that you are happy in your life and settled". He said Yes. That, apparently was a "are you gay" question...

[FakePlasticTrees]

Just to clarify, my first line makes it sound like a negative - it's more I wasn't sure if he was straight or gay, not I wasn't sure about him IYSWIM.

[pongonperdy]

What made you not sure. Curious what made you think he may be gay.

[TiggyD]

I think letting him know you're gay-friendly is a good step. Talk about any gay friends you have or that you're planning on visiting a pride for the atmosphere. Or just ask him but if he's shy it might cause him to panic and close up.