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Gay son

(10 Posts)
Millylexi Sun 28-Apr-19 23:35:55

Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with this please?
My 13y/o son came out as gay last week. He swims competitively and one of the boys from his team has been slagging him off and laughing about him behind his back at school. (One of sons friends thought she was helping by telling him everything he has been saying).
He hasn’t been back to swimming since and pulled out of a weekend away to a competition with his club as couldn’t stand the thought of everyone talking about him and treating him differently.
He would like to go back but I don’t know if I should say anything to his coach? Nothing has been said directly to my sons face and I don’t want to make things any more difficult for him.
Any suggestions please?

brizzlemint Mon 29-Apr-19 00:06:20

if its an Swim England club then they will have signed up to Wavepower as it's compulsory and will have a welfare and/or safeguarding officer who you can approach.
There is a wealth of information here which looks as though it is all safeguarding but it covers welfare as well.

I would talk to the coach and welfare officer together and make them aware of what has happened and see how they suggest handling it.

I hope that it's resolved soon and your son can carry on with his swimming. I'd also speak to the school as maybe he can access some pastoral care there to give him some extra support.

englishdictionary Mon 29-Apr-19 00:14:44

The fact that your son is gay Is irrelevant. He is being bullied so deal with that how you would deal with bullying over any other issue.

Millylexi Mon 29-Apr-19 07:36:18

You’re right it is irrelevant. I think I just wasn’t sure how to deal with it because nothing has been said to him directly, he’s just overhearing gossip - normally I would just tell him to ignore it but don’t think that’s for the best this time.

Millylexi Mon 29-Apr-19 07:37:40

Thanks I will have a read through that information. I think you’re right - I do need to let the coach know that something has gone on at school.

ItsGemma79 Mon 29-Apr-19 19:27:12

My 11 year old son is gay and we haven’t had any issues regarding bullying but I’m always worried about him.

Millylexi Mon 29-Apr-19 22:53:07

Its hard not to worry isn’t it? I just keep reminding myself it’s not like when I was at school, most kids seem much more accepting now.

pointythings Fri 31-May-19 21:28:47

Kids are more accepting now - but at the same time there will always be kids who are dicks about it, probably because that's what they learn at home.

The swim club should have guidelines they have to follow, so yes to going down that route. Apart from that just keep on being the supportive parent you so clearly are.

I have two gay DDs so have been there.

Alwayssaythewrongthing Fri 31-May-19 23:01:07

Thanks pointythings. The swimming club did have to deal with it (really well actually) and my ds now happy going.

pointythings Sat 01-Jun-19 09:52:28

Really glad to hear you've had a good outcome. The world is changing for the better. Parents like us absolutely have a part in that.

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