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Chest binding

(12 Posts)
OKsoWhatNext Thu 25-Apr-19 08:57:22

DD has recently started identifying as male.

I had spoken to them about how dangerous chest binding can be and I thought they had taken it on board.

However, I found on their phone a video where they confess they are using a homemade chest binder and Mum and Dad can't know.

Obviously what I have said has not sunk in. If I confront them with the video, there is no guarantee they won't go on binding - I won't be able to see unless I demand to watch them get dressed every day and/or hide any fabric in my house - neither of which are options obviously!

Are there any resources that would be appealing for a 12 yo to see - like a video - that could explain the dangers of chest binding? I feel like a video of a peer would probably get through to them more than me repeating what I've said before. I've looked on You Tube and all I see is lots of F2M trans kids talking about how to "bind safely".

FamilyOfAliens Thu 25-Apr-19 09:02:40

If you scroll down in the following article it links to a study of the harm caused by breast binding.

That’s the first one I could find.

www.transgendertrend.com/social-transition-and-chest-binding/

OKsoWhatNext Thu 25-Apr-19 11:34:45

Thank you for taking the trouble to find that.

I think what I wanted to find was some kind of teen friendly video about it so that I can show it to my DC and they might take it in a bit better.

It looks like me saying it to them isn't being taken seriously. Want something easy to digest that we could maybe watch together and discuss

OKsoWhatNext Thu 25-Apr-19 18:09:42

Wondering how other people with F2M trans kids that don't want them to chest bind have dealt with this?

FamilyOfAliens Thu 25-Apr-19 19:25:16

I doubt you’ll find a video made by a teenager that explains why breast binding is dangerous to her health. Young people are too afraid to be seen as “transphobic” to criticise any aspect of the transgender movement.

I would treat this like any other parenting dilemma. I would tell her that because she is doing something which will have an impact on her health and she is 12 years old, she needs to go with you to the GP to ask for advice. If everything is as ok as she says, there is nothing to fear from having that confirmed by a GP. If she refuses to go, I would tell her I will be going on my own. I would give her the choice of coming with me, or refusing to come and losing a privilege. It wouldn’t be a sanction for breast binding, it would be a sanction of refusing to take the reasonable step of speaking to her GP about something that will affect her health.

You have to be strong, OP. She could irreparably damage her breast tissue and give herself breathing problems if she persists. You can’t sit back and do nothing.

Xiaoxiong Thu 25-Apr-19 19:28:42

Yes the pique resilience girls have made videos about chest binding and how it prevented them from doing sports, singing, even just breathing or walking between lessons at school. I think it's in episode one of their podcast: https://m.soundcloud.com/dangerramen

Halfthesky5 Thu 25-Apr-19 19:57:51

Have a look at GNC Centric on YouTube. She's a young Canadian woman called Ben who identified as a transman until a few years ago. She's has made quite a few videos including one that discusses breast binding. youtu.be/f3yk1JEQVPQ

OKsoWhatNext Thu 25-Apr-19 22:25:45

Thanks very much for those links, I'll check them out.

In terms of taking them to the GP - would the GP definitely say that breast binding is dangerous? I'd be nervous of going down that route in case the GP saw it differently or talked about "safe" binding etc.

What is difficult is that I can't monitor what DC is doing. If they are making their own breast binder and hiding it, then because it is not visible, I don't see them use it. The only reason I found out this time was because of the video on their phone where they talked about it.

FamilyOfAliens Thu 25-Apr-19 22:28:31

Can you not ask her if she’s wearing a binder? Or would that mean she’ll know you've looked at her phone?

Maybe go to the GP first by yourself and sound them out about your concerns.

Italiangreyhound Sat 27-Apr-19 18:18:19

Halfthesky5 That youtu.be/f3yk1JEQVPQ clip is very good, very sad, but very helpfil.

OKsoWhatNext This is very scary. We have a trans presenting child in wider family and I have a few friends with trans presenting children. All very scary.

My friend had this big dilemma too about a year ago.

I started a thread about it as she is not on Mumsnet (and did not want to be), she gave me permission to ask about this for her.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lgbt_children/3153467-Advice-on-whether-binders-are-safe

It's not long, only two pages. There is reference to this sleeveless-therapeutic-vest-top-singlet, which does flatten the chest. I am not recommending it but it does not seem to be too invasive and may well be better than using bandages, which is definitely not safe.

www.sensorysmart.co.uk/sleeveless-therapeutic-vest-top-singlet---calming-clothing---medium-to-firm-compression-11056-p.asp

There is a reference to GC2B binders towards the end. My friend ended up getting one of these for her child. Her child was so dysphoric and unhappy, and it seemed the best thing to do.

I am not recommending it or advising it. I am just saying this is one thing that is spoken about on this thread. My friend's child was 14 when she started wearing the binder, and 13 when she started wearing the compression vest.

Good luck, it's tough. There is a forum somewhere on line for ROGD (Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria), I don't know the link but someone might. Google around. It may be something like Parents of...

Best wishes.

Italiangreyhound Sat 27-Apr-19 18:21:15

PS listen to the end of the clip for some practical advice. I am sure you did but I just found it useful.

And sorry if my post is too full of overuse of the word scary ... but you know it seems to fit, because it is scary and we love our children, and want the best for them. Keep showing that love and care. Best wishes, thanks

2kidsStress Sun 02-Jun-19 20:53:18

I reccomend getting in contact with a company called Spectrum Outfitters. They make the proper chest binders but they offer a advice sheet which they will happily send across to you. It says such things that binding whilst the chest is still developing is dangerous and this will get across to your DS (it is obvious from this post that is how they identify). I hope this helps. One tip if they continue to want to bind help them by getting them to use 2 sports bras which do not damage the chest but is still effective which will bring ease to your DS and how they feel.

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