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Two boys, one trans one gay

(4 Posts)
HannahSMitch Fri 07-Dec-18 21:01:17

This year has been an emotional year, my eldest who is becoming a girl is actually ok, I'm immensely proud of her.
Her brother is weed smoking drop out he is only 17 he's outed himself on social media but never told me.
He has disappeared with his boyfriend and I don't know whether he's ok, where he is ... really I don't know anything.
I'm the last to know.
But he's still my child
He has a history of violence and lack of self control
I had to kick him out.
I'm worried sick, has anyone any practical advice?

BigGreenOlives Tue 11-Dec-18 17:26:15

I expect your younger son is deeply concerned about his sibling and doesn't know how to express his feelings. I don't have any practical advice, just know that one child expressing themselves differently has a knock on effect on other children. In a family I am aware of a daughter was unhappy with her identity and has taken steps to appear male, her older brother has left the family and is no longer in contact with the parents. Please be kind to your 17 year old, he is no doubt deeply confused by all that is going on.

HannahSMitch Tue 18-Dec-18 07:49:13

Thank you BigGreenOlives, I have always tried to maintain a gentle approach, with both my children, especially when they could only find anger as a way to express themselves.
My 17 year old did pop home and as always I let him know that if he gives up smoking weed he can come home again, where he is safe and loved.
But it's not the life he chooses.
He isn't confused, more he's a little unthinking and wrapped up in his own world.
I wish that kids like him didn't fall between the gaps of the governments hope to keep all kids in education until 18, just because he's an A student doesn't mean he's going to want to be there.
I truly believe something needs to change to catch these kids.

On that note thank you for your message, have a very merry Christmas.

SuperLoudPoppingAction Tue 18-Dec-18 07:53:04

When you say he's smoking weed is it the kind of chronic use that affects mindset and behaviour?
I imagine it might be tough to give up and also might engender a paranoid mindset.

It's very hard to be a gay teen and feel different and isolated.
Drugs might be a coping mechanism for that.

He might be vulnerable to things like commercial sexual exploitation if he's young and without a home.

Have you both had support from anyone about his unstable housing situation?

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