Advanced search

Do you think you'd know if you were gay or not at 12?

(16 Posts)
MrsAdamsWhite Sun 03-Dec-17 13:41:37

Just having a conversation with DD1 (12) smile

CrmbleBee Sun 03-Dec-17 15:51:00

I've read that crushes on both genders are normal at that age and don't mean anything in particular, but some people say they knew much earlier than that.

Floralnomad Sun 03-Dec-17 15:52:21

My ds did , and so did we although he didn’t actually tell us officially until he was 17 .

rcit Sun 03-Dec-17 15:53:50

Maybe, maybe not.

calamityjam Sun 03-Dec-17 15:56:17

All my gay friends and family have said that they knew way before 12.

ReinettePompadour Sun 03-Dec-17 16:01:15

Some of DDs friends identify as lesbian and theyre 12/13 yrs old. However I didn't identify as bi until I was 16/17. Maybe being bi is more difficult because of the idea that being attractive to all sexes during your teenage years is normal development.

PlausibleSuit Sun 03-Dec-17 16:09:50

I knew I was gay when I was well under 10. 7, 8 maybe. I didn't have a word for it, and obviously it wasn't the same kinds of feelings I started to have when I was a teenager, but I did have this strong sense that the whole male/female partnership thing just felt... wrong, for me, somehow. I remember thinking how nice it would be if I could marry He-Man.

It's really hard to explain now but I know that I knew then. For sure. No confusion.

MrsAdamsWhite Sun 03-Dec-17 16:10:13


I guess when puberty starts. 8 seems a bit young to know though.

BarbarianMum Wed 06-Dec-17 22:25:35

Well I could have told you I was heterosexual at age 5 (well i couldn't have articulated it but i knew). I couldn't say that every gay person knows at 5, but I bet some do.

Apileofballyhoo Wed 06-Dec-17 22:28:20

I 'liked' boys (I'm straight) from the time I was 5 - I had a crush on a boy in my class. So I'd say it's perfectly possible to know your gay from a similar age.

Apileofballyhoo Wed 06-Dec-17 22:28:34


GingerbreadMa Wed 06-Dec-17 22:31:00


I did WORRY because I didnt know whether I would be or not. But I didnt know.

I had only had about 3 crushes in total by then. All boys.

Codlet Wed 06-Dec-17 22:32:36

I think you could know you were gay (and be correct) by the time you are 12, but also could think you are gay (and later decide otherwise) at that age. Because it’s a time in your life of such hormonal and mental upheaval.

NannyR Wed 06-Dec-17 22:33:17

Looking back, it was obvious I was gay at 12 or 13 but I don't think I actually knew it or could put a label on my feelings at that age.

Showergel1 Wed 06-Dec-17 22:34:59

I didn't know until 13/14. I fancied several boys at 12.
I went back to fancying boys at 22 but already met ny wife by then! She fancies some boys too.

gillybeanz Wed 06-Dec-17 22:44:49

I don't think it's necessarily related to puberty,
I started periods at age 9, but believed I was a lesbian when I was 12
It was a girly crush quite common to girls at that age, I consider myself straight, but not averse to crushes on women, I've had sex with a woman and enjoyed it, so maybe I'm bi - sexual, if I had to label.

I'm not suggesting that others who thought they were lesbians at 12 weren't as well though. We can only speak for ourselves, imo.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now