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Bisexual son - practical advice?

(11 Posts)
TokyoKyoto Fri 01-Dec-17 11:53:17

My 14 year old just told me he's bisexual, so I did what I always do and had a google for things I might need to know as the parent of a bisexual teenager.

All the advice to parents was aimed at people who have a problem dealing with it, are worried about family members being prejudiced, a bit socially ashamed. I'm aghast really: we are not worried in the slightest and all I wanted was a list of things which might be issues in future that I hadn't thought about!

So: is there anything I need to know, as a person who's lived a very straight life, which may be something my son needs to deal with in the years to come? I am already checking out his school's policy on homophobic language and bullying. What else? Or nothing at all, I am overthinking?

Pandoraphile Fri 01-Dec-17 12:10:59

I don't think at 14 that he can possibly be certain about his sexuality. I have a 16yr old dd so I'm coming at this from some experience.
A good friend of my dd's wrote a note when he was 14 saying he was gay and he left it in the table when his mum was out and went to school.
Fast forward a couple of years and he is clearly heterosexual. I think younger teenagers can confuse curiosity with an actual definite leaning one way or another.

Ttbb Fri 01-Dec-17 12:14:21

During my teenaged years 50% of my peers went through a bisexual phase. The vast majority ended up realising that they were either straight or gay afterall. I don't think that you need to be worrying about the long term just yet.

TokyoKyoto Fri 01-Dec-17 12:15:26

Well, that's for him to decide - we're not talking about having anything carved in stone here, just 'do we need to be aware of anything we might not know about being a pair of old straights'.

e.g. I read on another thread that prejudice can come also from the gay community, I did not know that and would like to know more.

FWIW, it was no surprise to me whatsoever, in fact I'll be surprised if he does turn out to be straight!!

Branleuse Fri 01-Dec-17 12:17:23

I dont think theres anything specific you should do at all, apart from really really banging home the idea of safe sex, but thats pretty important for anyone.

imokit Fri 01-Dec-17 12:26:01

STDs, pregnancy and consent - same as any other teen.
Anything else may or may not be needed, but those definitely will!

TokyoKyoto Fri 01-Dec-17 12:27:36

I hear you!!

nooka Tue 19-Dec-17 06:03:00

My 17 year old dd is bisexual. She tells me that there is quite a lot of prejudice toward bisexuals, from both straight and LGBT communities. Bisexual people can be thought to be hiding that they are actually gay, attention seeking, messing around or uncommitted (she'd be pretty pissed off with the 'it's just a phase' comments here) or promiscuous. dd says that boys are particularly likely to be told that really they are gay.

dd knew that she found both boys/men and girls/women attractive when she was quite young, I see no reason why the OP's ds shouldn't know who he fancies at 14. The degree of preference may change as he gets older, and it might be that he only has serious relationships with people of one sex or the other but that doesn't mean he is necessarily bound to be straight or gay and not bisexual.

HermioneWeasley Sun 24-Dec-17 21:04:21

Make sure he knows about gay safe sex and look for some youth groups, the scene can be very predatory towards young men so steer him away as long as you can.

bridgetoc Wed 24-Jan-18 20:47:29

You are overthinking....... Let him know that you are there for him if he needs you, and then leave him be unless he asks for your help........

BertieBotts Wed 24-Jan-18 20:50:03

I wouldn't worry about it. Yes drill in the message about safe sex and STDs, that's all.

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