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This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

LGBT children

12 year old came out

4 replies

Stuffragette · 12/08/2017 08:26

As title says, about 6 months ago, -2 year old ds came out to me and dh. I was not surprised at all and so pleased he could tell us. He was so tearful and worried. I can't imagine how much courage it took for him to tell us. I love him him whatever he is. I'm trying hard to help him accept his new accepted 'identity'. But he has been given such a hard time at school. Some boys using such old fashioned slang, fag, gay boy, batty boy. Wtf?

He also loves wearing make up so we went for a lesson at Mac so he knew how to do it all properly. He was in heaven.

He has two best friends at school who he's terrified of telling. He thinks they will drop him if they know.

Last thing, he's at an all boys inner city school which is a little bit tough and he is a complete softy. Apart from his mates he feels a bit out of water. I'm debating looking into moving him to mixed but not sure. His school is great. The staff are great. It's a brand new school so it's very much a work in progress.

Sorry after all my wittering can I get any tips on how to handle things. I want him to know I love him whoever he is, but he has a tricky path ahead and I can't always be there to kick arse of all the ignorant idiots he's going to get grief from.

OP posts:
AdalindSchade · 12/08/2017 08:28

I wouldn't want my gay son at an all boys school tbh. At my school the gay boys had lots of female friends and a couple of male friends but the girls were more accepting. Teenage boys can be so fragile in their masculinity.

hannah1992 · 12/08/2017 08:32

I'm so happy to see that you and your dh have made it as easy as possible for him. When my sil came out my mil was not at all impressed what so ever. Anyway, being gay is far more accepted now than it ever has been so he may find that he won't come against many problems.

In regards to his friends they may already "know". I had a friend at school who I knew was gay from being sort of 11 years old he didn't come out until we left school but nobody was bothered at all.

I think you are amazing for taking him to a make up course I bet he absolutely loved it.

Seriously just take it one day at a time. Reassure him you love him no matter what and that he should tell others when he feels ready to do so

GinLoverSharon · 22/08/2017 01:48

First of all, well done for being so accepting of your son! Not a lot of mums would have been so supportive!
Sadly children are cruel, and will torment each other for anything, small or big! I'd offer him the idea of moving schools, staying in the same area so he could still see old friends. If he's happy at his school don't move him or interfere.

Isadora2007 · 22/08/2017 01:53

Moving school sounds ideal scenario really but in the meantime could you look into some classes for him such as dance or drama for confidence or even some yoga or martial arts for either relaxation or the discipline. Or any other hobby he fancies really? Just to mix with other people who won't label him but will share an interest?

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