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Need help for my teenager

(6 Posts)
NewbieSpartacus Wed 10-May-17 21:50:00

I really need some help and advice and I don't know where to turn IRL because to ask a question about trans is to be a bigot. I came here in desperation and was so relieved to find reassurance especially in feminism threads because I felt like I was losing my sanity. So now I believe I'm right in terms of, for example, letting teenagers have hormones is dangerous and irresponsible and other avenues should be pursued first. But, I still don't know how to actually help my kid because I know they won't hear it from me.

Our 16 year old came out to us a few months ago. We got a referral for a therapist (ie just general mental health not specifically gender related) and have had a few sessions. There are other issues with our child eg anxiety, low mood, ADD, possible ASD (my next step will be to ask for screening). For several reasons we don't feel in our guts that the trans issue is the real problem, I think it's an internet/ social group thing they have fixated on as a 'cure'. We also have a referral to a doctor to try and get ADs.

My worry at the moment is we want to wait and see for a while and try ADs before going to a gender clinic but I think my kid is going to request a referral at the next therapy session. I would be thrilled with going to a clinic if it meant a therapist delving into the problem and offering alternatives, but so worried about this self identifying/ affirming policy. This is the page of the children's hospital we would be referred to -

I would love your opinions on this - it looks to me like any kid questioning their gender would just get affirmation and the parents get counselled to accept it. I DON'T accept it. I want the healthcare system to ask questions and find out why my child isn't happy.

I don't know what else I can do apart from find a private therapist, but I don't know how to pick one that doesn't follow the trans cult or how to persuade my kid to see them? (Or how the fuck I will pay for it.. it's a fucking travesty that healthcare will cover transing a kid but isn't allowed to consider alternatives because that would be conversion therapy)

I hope someone can offer some wisdom. We love our kids so much and just want them to be happy. We feel like we are in a surreal nightmare that won't end.

NewbieSpartacus Wed 10-May-17 22:14:34

And should I put this somewhere else for more traffic? I just want some advice without the whole 'not another trans thread' malarkey.

NewbieSpartacus Thu 11-May-17 16:37:32

Bump - can anyone see this?

user1486956786 Fri 12-May-17 14:00:08

Sorry I can't help but i can see another similar active thread 'another teenage girl...' hope it helps

Scootergirl81 Sat 13-May-17 23:30:49

Sorry, I can't offer any advice but this link might help:

Blossom789 Sun 14-May-17 06:09:17

have a chat with the therapist- theyre obviously not thinking to refer as they would have raised it. Sounds like the underlying difficulties need exploring further first. Dependant on the severity of the low mood or anxiety this may need treatment before ASD can be explored.

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