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camping holiday with friend?

(8 Posts)
bombayflambe Thu 26-May-16 11:39:41

Would you facilitate a camping holiday for 2x16YO in a small tent, one of whom is biologically female trangender non-binary, and the other is recently realised not-yet-out M->F transgender?
Both fancy women, FWIW.
I am the parent of the non-binary biologically female one, if that has bearing. My inner feminist is making angry gestures and muttering about genitals. My pragmatic side says it won't work as they'll have died of hunger within 36 hours, let alone the five days proposed. But the desperate to support an unhappy teen side wants to be able to offer something, some compromise....any thoughts?

Hermit123 Sun 29-May-16 22:42:32

Not quite sure what you're worried about: the two of them in a tent together or the practicalities of them surviving 5 days without adults "in the wilderness"? How long have they've been friends for?

bombayflambe Mon 06-Jun-16 15:07:03

Worried about both actually.
Firstlky I don't think that they have the nouse to cope.
Secondly I'm struggling with the sex/gender issue.
If I consider this based on biological criteria, I have either straight 16YO boy and a gay 16YO girl sharing a tent, with which I'm not comfortable with. if I consider this on preferred gender criteria I have a gay 16YO girl and a 16YO non-gender person who fancies girls sharing a tent. Either scenario, once you add in that they are both troubled kids/hormonal/anxious I don't think that throwing them together for a week is going to help either of them.

audreyharley Fri 10-Jun-16 19:46:10

Have you heard yourself? They both have compatible genitalia therefore they're obviously going to have sex. No. Not at all. I would have thought that since this was your own son that you would have a better grip on biological sex being non related to gender, which means if your son's friend is attracted to girls, they surely won't be attracted to your son. You say that it won't help them, but why won't it? It'll be a fun trip for them, a chance for friends to have a good time. If they've never shown any sort of romantic interest in each other and the only reason you're concerned about two friends going on a trip together is that one has a penis and one has a vagina, you need to rethink your argument. Absolutely let them go, why shouldn't you?

Hermit123 Tue 14-Jun-16 21:28:07

I don't think you have anything to worry about and agree with audrey that it actually might be really helpful for two teenagers with similar worries to spend some time together. For most of the teenagers coming to terms with their gender / biological sex not being in sync, sex is actually the last thing on their mind as they're so out of tune with their body.

bombayflambe Tue 21-Jun-16 11:52:45

I don't have a son Audrey.
My gender non-binary child who is biologically female and has all the requisite attributes of a female is proposing camping alone with a biological male who is attracted to women but is gender female.
I suggested a group outing, offered tents, kit and lifts.
They want to be alone, so she will be coming over here for a couple of nights in the summer instead.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 24-Jul-16 14:11:56

They might both fancy women but do they fancy each other?

Let them go. At a campsite they'll be fine, there will be a tap, almost certainly toilets and showers. Someone will be able to give them directions to a corner shop or chip shop

Get them to take something to cook on and practice using it before hand. They can leave on baked beans and hot dogs for 5 days.

Water carrier is also really important, they can add squash if it will make then drink more

Sunscreen! And after sun for when they forget

Wheredidthesummergo Sun 24-Jul-16 14:25:38

Your own child won't fancy the other teenager, but the friend may fancy them? So you'd have the issue that any mixed sex friendship pair would have - would the other teenager expect a friends-with-benefits stuff, or just be happy with someone they could be open with?
Some 16 year olds are off to Magaluf I suppose, but it does seem young. Some campsites won't accept them.

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