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School Leavers day

(32 Posts)
GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:23:57

Hi, I'm new to this so hope I'm posting correctly...my 16 year old daughter (who is gay) tells me she has no intention of going to the school leavers day as she won't wear a dress (she's always hated them anyway) but I kind of feel that she may miss out on a good day with her friends (who are very much going) so am I right to leave it as its her decision and not really mine? Advice welcome, thanks.

Janefromdowntheroad Fri 13-May-16 22:25:06

Does she have to wear a dress?

PurpleDaisies Fri 13-May-16 22:26:17

Is the dress code compulsory?

MayhemandMadness Fri 13-May-16 22:26:20

Yes she can make her own decision. Ds didnt go to his because of years of bullying around his sexuality. Has never regretted it.

PurpleDaisies Fri 13-May-16 22:27:11

I wouldn't make her go either way. Nothing to be gained if she won't enjoy it.

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:28:18

I actually said the very same thing to her and she said there was zero chance she'd wear a suit as she'd stand out.

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:29:36

I'm not even sure but I know she wouldn't feel right wearing a suit. I just don't want her to miss out but well, it's for her, not me.

VimFuego101 Fri 13-May-16 22:30:39

What is her style generally?

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:31:01

Thanks this has helped. Very few friends know she's gay (actually only two) but I know they'd support her.

PurpleDaisies Fri 13-May-16 22:31:15

What about smart trousers and a top? Or a jump suit? I guess it depends a bit what the school's policy is.

wobblywonderwoman Fri 13-May-16 22:32:00

I would respect her decision. what about a jumpsuit type of outfit if she does decide to go? but I am not sure are they in fashion.. Frump here

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:32:04

She's very much jeans n t- shirt.

PurpleDaisies Fri 13-May-16 22:33:07

By the way, not all girls who don't like dresses are gay. That won't put her if she isn't ready to come out yet. Could she talk to her close friends about how she's feeling and see if they'd be willing to support her?

PurpleDaisies Fri 13-May-16 22:33:31

Out her not put her.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justdontevenfuckingstart Fri 13-May-16 22:34:00

Stop mentioning being gay it is totally irrelevant.

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:34:54

Thanks www (sorry totally new to this and not sure if I've replied to the right people or not, lol). The girls at her school will be very dressed up, long dresses, short dresses, no jump suites unfortunately...lol...shame they're not in fashion...

PurpleDaisies Fri 13-May-16 22:38:34

Lots of jumpsuits at the wedding I went to a few weekends ago. 384 results if you search on asos.

OddBoots Fri 13-May-16 22:41:06

A lot of stylish young women wear jumpsuits to events. If she doesn't want to go though she is old enough to decide that for herself. Maybe chat about your concerns with her but then step back and just support her choice.

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:41:26

Need scarf...it explains more than if I just say she won't go. I'm hardly making an issue of her sexuality. Besides I'm extremely proud of her and don't intend hiding the fact that's she gay as other readers may have gay daughters or sons and will see the post and may relate.

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:44:07

Just don't.....I will say whatever I wish my lovely. Do have a nice evening smile

PurpleDaisies Fri 13-May-16 22:45:52

Does your daughter think that by not wearing a dress people will identify her as gay? I can't really see how it's relevant if not.

GaynorGoodwin Fri 13-May-16 22:45:59

Purple..I wouldn't be able to make a 16 year old go now would I really? Be sensible now.

VegasIsBest Fri 13-May-16 22:46:33

I'm sorry if I'm missing the point here, but why does being gay mean she can't go to the school leavers' day and enjoy herself? It's one of those right of passage days that everyone should get to enjoy. If it's a decent size school she won't be the only gay kid and she certainly won't be the only kid who feels they don't conform to expectations. Can you encourage her just to go along, relax and enjoy herself?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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