When how and what to tell donor kids

[gertrude100]

Hi there

I need a bit of advice really.

I am a gay mum with three kids. My partner and I separated about 18 months ago after almost 13 years. We co parent and look after the kids 50/50.

The kids have always known they were conceived via donor insemination as we made a book with our photos and talked about a nice man giving us some seed so we could have a baby etc etc.

We tried to mention in the book that our oldest girl (8) who I am the birth mum of had a different donor to our twins (4) who my ex is the birth mum of by saying subtly 'another nice man...' To complicate things our oldest girl has an anonymous donor and the the time the twins came along the law had changed.

So, our oldest girl joked the other day to her brother that I was contacting their dad when I was on the phone. Came out of nowhere but anyway it made me think that she needed more info. I'm not sure how much detail or what to tell her.

Any gay mums out there who can offer any words of wisdom?

[kathryng90]

Didn't want to read and run. Would recommend honestly with her, keep it simple but tell her. I am non birth mum to our youngest 2 whose daddy is a known donor and who they see a few times a year so slightly different set up. We have friends who have 4 kids between them (1 mummy had 1 and 1 mummy had 3) with 1 daddy and 2 donors and the kids accept their differences!