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Gender identity

(9 Posts)
Chiff Sat 20-Oct-12 09:25:24

My 17 year old daughter told me 4 months ago that she felt she was male. She has always felt different from others and has not been attracted to boys or girls. But she didn't start thinking about her gender identity until about a year ago. I thought this was something that children felt from a very early age but she says you can decide as an adolescent: she agrees that she had no sense of being a boy as she was growing up. I have really struggled with acceptance and belief: all my maternal instincts are telling me that it isn't true. I am trying to support her but finding it extremely difficult. I separated from her father just over a year ago. She is also feeling a lot of pressure about exams and uni decisions. I feel this is part of the whole issue but she insists that they are not connected. As she is nearly 18 we can't get any help from CAMHS and I am not included in any conversations or decisions with the GP. Has anyone else been in this situation? I am feeling very alone and scared.

hebetrayedme Sat 20-Oct-12 19:32:34

Have you a local LGBT centre that offers counselling? Or could your GP refer to counsellor?

Chiff Sun 21-Oct-12 12:18:50

Thanks for the suggestions. No we don't have a centre nearby, and I have already had counselling because of my separation so not eligible for any more right now. My daughter is trying to find counselling through school but very few people understand this issue.

hebetrayedme Sun 21-Oct-12 14:03:09

Look here x

Chiff Tue 23-Oct-12 05:47:50

Thank you

untitled Thu 25-Oct-12 00:30:03

I see there is a link to Mermaids in the nhs article linked to by hebetrayedme

Mermaids would be a great source of support for you as it is a group primarily for parents and families of young trans people. I joined Mermaids when my child told me, at the age of 14, that ze was transgender. That was nearly 2 years ago. Mermaids has been my lifeline. Just like yours, my child only realised after puberty. The way I look at it, if your child tells you this when they are very young you have to wait to see if it desists at puberty, as it often does. If they tell you when into their teens it is much more likely to be permanent; and you don't have all those years or worry and wondering.

Chiff Tue 30-Oct-12 17:49:15

Thanks for advice about Mermaids. I am sure it would be helpful. I am just trying to find the courage to sign up.

doasIsaynotasIdo Sat 03-Nov-12 09:30:59

Take courage and sign up. I am also member of Mermaids, and have never seen anything other than kindness and support expressed on the site. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain from the other members, all of whom will empathise with what you are going through. Good luck.

TiggyD Sat 03-Nov-12 18:58:13 is also good.

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