6 year old daughter searching for 'ladys having sex with ladys no boys'(46 Posts)
My six year old daughter was using my computer this morning and I took it over to discover google searches for 'ladys having sex' 'ladys sex ladys' and 'ladys sex no boys'. Spelling mistakes hers!
Looks like she'd been looking at quite a bit of nudity and some porn. the fact that she's just turned 6 is of course worrying. And the fact that we have no security on our computer is, of course, a wake up call.
I have tried not to yell at her because I don't want to punish her for being curious about sexuality. I just wondered if I should take this as a sign that she may be thinking about girls rather than boys. Is she too young to be having these thoughts. Would welcome any feedback.
She is too young to know yet! No child that young will know what they are!
They might feel "different" in comparison with their friends but they won't understand why this might be at all!
Forget about it, tell her off for looking at porn and block it on the computer.
Very good Google skills, DDs would have been 8ish before they phrased them that well.
Why did she ask, who knows, all the fuss in the media encouraging playground gossip, I'd guess.
I remember watching the news about the Yorkshire ripper and asking, asking in front of my GPs, "What's a prostitute, Daddy"
I'm sure today Id have just Googled.
Dad did tell me in the car going home, he always answered questions, questions. I was far younger than six when I new the facts of life and way way older before I knew about homosexuality, because it wasn't all over the news before Aids
My 4 year old ds is a curious boy and while he's never been on a computer or around sex, he goes to a school that have same sex parents and I can remembering him asking once, "how do 2 daddies make babies?" We explained the best we could as he loves asking why.
Maybe she overheard something at school could be older children even older boys talking and she git curious. It is quite concerning that she knew what to search for.
As for parental controls, you wouldn't think to put them in place for a 6 year old who uses it in your presence or watching Scooby. Maybe it's time to put them on!
No advice on what to do but maybe do an activity with her and casually why she was searching but make sure she knows that you're not mad only worried.
Their has been a ton of coverage lately in the news about "same sex marriage" mostly perpetuated and dragged out in the media due the churches opposition.
So its perfectly possible your kid has heard this on the tv, radio etc. And doesnt know what it means and done a search based on 'her own interpretation' of that phrase - hence her search.
Its most likely completely innocent I doubt she knows what sex is in the sense of some of the panicy comments in this thread. The most worrying thing is you "tried" not to shout. Maybee investigate with her and find out why she was searching before making a leep of judgement and responding wirh agression?
I have a very bright computer literate 6yo . We have a close family member who is just about to have a civil partnership so he is well aware that " ladies can marry ladies".I would be extremely worried to find out that he had googled this, on child protection grounds
AuntyShirley, there is a free programme called K9 that you can download - that seems to work well.
No clandon, the op strikes me as iffy, not you!!
I remember trying to order a 'good sex guide' book from a newspaper glossy insert at about the same age. I'd experienced no abuse, was just curious about the whole thing. I was absolutely mortified when my mum found the order form though!
I also had my first crush on a girl in year one, I even asked the head teacher if it was ok to kiss girls during kiss chase as I didn't want to kiss boys
If you have no other causes for concern, then it might well just be a big dose of curiosity and too much access to the Internet
Ship, which bit of my post is ?
I was at the time, it was all a bit shocking at the time, but it din't last, and like I said, they were all into Pokemon again a few days after
when my DS was 6, he "snogged" a girl, and he once asked me if humping was the same as f%cking, and saying other boys were pushing girls up the wall and "hump" them.
this was mega alarming at the time, talked to teacher and head teacher, who said it takes only 1 child in the class to have an older sib who tells them about these things, and then they all want to know. THe thrill of the "naughtiness of it" etc.
She also said children at this age have a kind of "sexual awakening", which then disappears again. She said it was normal, but that it was important to explain about "appropriate behaviour", and it all fizzled out after a few days, when they were all into Pokemon again.
I know 6 and 7 year olds who googled "big boobies" and worse.
parental controls and a chat, and no panic.
I am surprised by some of you being surprised that a six year old could have heard of/have curiosity about this. Yes, lots exist in a bubble but our society is totally saturated by sex - TV, music, billboards, magazines...a bright kid is going to notice some of that. I certainly wouldn't jump straight to 'it's a child protection issue'.
When my dcs were that age they knew how babies were made, they knew our friends were a couple and both men and they knew how to google. It doesn't take too much to join the dots.
I'd say it's curiosity.
This wouldn't concern me, the whole NO BOYS things tells me these thoughts have come directly from a six year olds head. Honestly, I bet she was just trying to figure out a way of having babies without boys.
I'd put it down to her thinking seriously about her future, and imagining having to live with a six year old boy. Ergh, yuck. Decides shed much rather live with another girl, because they don't smell of farting or get too noisy. Decided to check if she can still have babies.
Just to illustrate... my bil heard two 4 year olds talking about where babies come out of and one said to the other "no it's not your bum, it's from the front hole. The one where the seeds get in"... the other 4 year old looked shocked apparently and said "what seeds?" And the other said "the ones from the daddy's penis".
Bil told this to my dh ....! He was surprised.
I'm genuinely surprised how little people seem to think 6 year olds know !!!
I really think it will be something she's picked up from school. Honestly kids of that age know a lot about sex!! My bil is a head teacher and you wouldn't believe some of the stuff he's heard 4, 5 and 6 year olds come out with.
Do you have any reasons to believe anything else sinister is going on?
I'd talk to her about it. I would bet money someone's been talking about lesbians having sex at school and she's genuinely curious about how it works / what they meant so thought she would have a look.
"Ladies" is a very childlike word to use. If it was a man / woman searching for lebsian porn or someone putting that into her head I doubt it would be with those words.
I would really worry about how/why she was even thinking to google that. My dd knows the mechanics of sex, and that women marry women, but wouldn't occur to her to actually search for it. And Iwould be very worried about where she got the idea from if she did.
As an aside, my dc are not allowed on the laptop without me, but, how would one install some kind of anti porn type thingy on the laptop <dunce> I have no idea, and ought to get it sorted.
Kids google everything they don't know the answers to - my dd does it. I saw her actually type in 'One Direction having sex' which prompted me to up the security settings!! The girls in her class talk continuously about One Direction. I am sure it came from there.
Me too halloween, I would be seriously concerned TBH.
if this post were real, and this were my daughter I would be having the serious collywobbles about how she connected lesbian sex and internet searching at 6yo
or is it a stealth boast about how "bright" she is ?
It's most likely that she has heard something at school or on tv that has made her curious.
I have just put a porn block on my laptop because I have an 8 year old who is now googling everything under the sun!
You may want to make sure there is nothing sinister behind it but I do think it's very normal for children to be curious about sex, especially when they only hear half a story.
I don't want to worry you but you really do need to think about where this could have come from. Is it really from the adult sitcoms you let her watch with you (which really aren't appropriate for her anyway but that's another issue). If not, then someone is at best talking to her about things they really shouldn't talk to her about, and that is the best spin there might be. I would be thinking about everyone who has significant time with her, and after I'd discounted all of them, I'd go through the list again. Sorry to be so pessimistic but this would be a real concern to me with a 6 yo.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.