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I've had a bit of a shock

(9 Posts)
YonWhaleFish Thu 01-Mar-12 16:05:38

I am straight, I have gay/lesbian friends, and recently have discussed same sex couples having kids with some 'close' friends. I was really shocked to discover they think same sex couples having kids is wrong.

To me, it's no different to me n my dh having kids, I honestly can't see the problem and really don't understand the objections. I even did a bit of digging and there doesn't seem to be any scientific backing for their 'objections' which are wish washy to say the least. (The child would be bullied / it's not natural / you need male & female to raise children (do they think children are cut off from one sex completely or something??!) etc). I think these people who were my close friends are homophobic now, I feel like I don't know them and I am really angry about it.

On a side note, a friend asked how another friends dad took it when he came out, and I said he was a bit funny but generally ok. Her reply was "well all his hopes and dreams for his son have been shattered now" to which I was literally open mouthed with incomprehension, I asked why and she said "well who'll carry on the family line?" and "well he'll never have a family now though" and "you don't think oo my child we be gay when they grow up and I'll be really proud". Just, WTF?

What do I do? How do I get past it/deal with it/accept that's their view without frothing?

MooncupGoddess Thu 01-Mar-12 16:10:29

It's bloody annoying, but your friends' views were the norm across the UK until very recently, so I'd view them as victims of their culture and challenge them gently rather than frothing like a cappuccino machine gone batshit.

The being bullied thing is particularly annoying - I tend to reply, 'well, I got bullied for having glasses at school, does that mean I shouldn't have been given glasses?'

PosiePumblechook Thu 01-Mar-12 16:12:29

You would be surprised how narrow minded people are, even the nice ones!!

YonWhaleFish Thu 01-Mar-12 16:21:30

Mooncup Re: the bullying comments, I said the same thing!

What's the best way/tactic not to froth? I tried not to, and tried to have a chat about it, but it was like talking to a brick wall, so I find myself drawn in to froth..confused

YonWhaleFish Thu 01-Mar-12 16:21:57

I forgot to say: thanks!

dontellimpike Sun 04-Mar-12 12:07:51

I am hoping that attitudes like this will gradually just die out as more gay couples have children, in the same way that people are no longer shocked when hetero couples have children when they are not married. I can remember times when that was considered way outside the bound of what was acceptable and people said the same thing - that the child would be bullied, etc. You could point that out to your friends.

I think that getting angry with them will just polarize their view.

ModdedMummy Sat 10-Mar-12 18:25:54

There will always be a certain level of frothing when it comes to people with these views. I have one particular friend that is extremely against anything and everything LGBT, and then another very close friend came out to him and he changed his opinions entirely.
I use that experience as my ammo for people: "Just because someone is gay today, doesn't mean they weren't gay yesterday. And besides, didn't you like them yesterday?"

Just smile and say 'that's nice' and wait for karma to catch up :P

ModdedMummy Sat 10-Mar-12 18:27:46

Oh, and you could ask them to pass on your number, so if they need a surrogate parent to talk to about all their problems with the lack of acceptance their parents are giving them, they'll have you.

It'll make you feel better, and make them either a) reconsider their thoughts or b) fill them with almost as much rage as they filled you with. :D

henrysmama2012 Tue 26-Jun-12 18:57:57

I'm offended on your behalf! I think those types of comments are ignorant and ugly and personally I don't think you should feel like you have to find some way of tolerating them. Unbelievable that people still say crap like that.

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