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Who do you think is in the right with this one? Place your opinions here!

(25 Posts)
Flossam Wed 13-Jul-05 18:49:11

Right, we are behind with our council tax payment. We need to pay up 100 now really. I have just come off maternity leave and in debt on top of debt iyswim. I cleared my overdraft a year ago with a loan and am now back in my overdraft, after an unexpected house move and going back to work took longer to arrange than expected. Even though I have had no money for the last three months bar child tax benefit and working credits, I have still paid for all food and all bills bar rent. Dp would go into his overdraft to pay the bill, but still feels he can afford to have a lads weekend away this weekend. He gets paid full salary in a week and I get paid maybe 200 hopefully (by no means certainly) at the end of the week. I think he should pay it, he thinks it is my responsibility. He refuses to go halfs. Who is right?

Janh Wed 13-Jul-05 18:51:33

Well there's no question but he's not going to listen to us, is he, even though we are sane and sensible and he isn't (and that's putting it politely).

Suggest that you have a weekend away too and then you can both go to court later

Puff Wed 13-Jul-05 18:52:30

What's his reasoning or it being your responsibility Flossam?

nutcracker Wed 13-Jul-05 18:52:33

He should pay it, no doubt about that.

Puff Wed 13-Jul-05 18:52:42

sp for

Twiglett Wed 13-Jul-05 18:54:02

stunned and slightly disgusted at his attitude .. are you a family unit or not? what does he think he is playing at?

tell him to be a man and not a teenager

Flossam Wed 13-Jul-05 18:54:43

Becuase the arrangement between us is that he pays the rent and I pay the bills. The rent comes to more than the bills and food, or at least it should do. Just working it all out now.

Puff Wed 13-Jul-05 18:57:45

He's not house sharing with a gang of mates fgs!

Does he have his own shelf for his food in the fridge (labelled of course? )

janeybops Wed 13-Jul-05 18:59:02

but surely the maternity leave cancels out that arrangement till you are back at work...

the baby is half is after all...

okapi Wed 13-Jul-05 18:59:28

agree with Twiglett - should be 'our' money not 'his and hers'

kama Wed 13-Jul-05 19:00:23

Message withdrawn

Flossam Wed 13-Jul-05 19:02:20

The thing is he uses Twigletts argument to try and get me to pool resources to get rid of his 15000 loan.

Janh Wed 13-Jul-05 19:03:57

Ah - I get it - his debts are your responsibility, but your responsibilities are not his too.


WideWebWitch Wed 13-Jul-05 19:08:02

He's unreasonable. Er, no, he cannot afford a weekend away.

Flossam Wed 13-Jul-05 19:16:50

I have even offered now that I go to work on saturday night too to be able to afford it. Ofcourse that means he can't go away so has been flatly rejected.

coppertop Wed 13-Jul-05 19:21:04

What on earth is he spending 'his' money on if his only household expense is the rent? Presumably the £15,000 debt hasn't come from just paying for weekends away???

Is the actual bill in your name or both of your names? It doesn't affect who should pay IMHO but it might make him think twice if his name is about to hear on a court summons. I understand that kind of thing doesn't go down too well in the police force!

Twiglett Wed 13-Jul-05 19:21:40

well if that's the way you have decided to live then I believe its only fair if you earn equally - if not take total bills and divide by the percentage of each of your earnings to the family income -- so if you've been earning 200 and he's earning 2000 you pay 9% and he pays 91%

Flossam Wed 13-Jul-05 19:29:29

The idea is we are both left with equal spending at the end. The vast majority of his debts were racked up before we met which is why I find sharing that with him rather hard to swallow.

Hermione1 Wed 13-Jul-05 19:32:18

Even though you both agreed to pay whatever you decided on paying out of each of your money. Surely if he sees you're in a fix and need some help surely he would help, or he should help in my opinion.

Flossam Wed 13-Jul-05 20:48:55

He is regretting taking me on today I think! My bills in total come to over 800. His come to nearly 1200. I will be earning 100, he will be earning 1600. For the last three months I have had about 150 being paid in. No wonder all my savings have gone and I am in debt. He has agreed to pay the c tax though. Couldn't not now really could he.

Flossam Wed 13-Jul-05 20:49:28

Sorry I'll be earning about 1000, including tax credits etc.

Tortington Wed 13-Jul-05 22:02:26

you should transfer the bills in his name all except the mortgage - if you have one.
my dp's name is on everything.

sounds a strange situation to me

Tortington Wed 13-Jul-05 22:03:25

i dont understand why you keep you own money and pay halves for things - are you not jointly trying to raise a family. his first responsability is to his family - sounds like he needs swifto kick up arso

Flossam Thu 14-Jul-05 11:10:57

I am the reluctant one to have a joint accout Custardo!! Cause he is so awful with money - don't want him to have any opportunity to spend all mine too!

Lizzylou Thu 14-Jul-05 11:16:03

What about keeping separate accounts but have one joint one for bills etc which you both pay an agreed amount in very month to cover it all?

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