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What surname would you give a child outside of marriage??

(62 Posts)
MINNIE1 Thu 07-Jul-05 08:45:07

I am expecting in December, first bubs.
I am uncertain about the childs surmane, Both me a DP are together (have been for 8 years) although we never married we never felt the need. We are going through the gardianship of the child at the moment and that seem stright forward. Its the surmane that has us cought. If we name the child with mine and his surmane, or his surmane, or just my surname. What are the legal rights to having his surname only??
Any advice welcome as were stuck on this!


Blackduck Thu 07-Jul-05 08:49:44

Thing you have to watch out for is whether you would want to change it in the future. Ds has both our names (no hyphen) and when we registered him registrar pointed out that his surname couldn't be changed to mine only (ie if dp and I split up, or indeed if I married someone else) the only way his name could be altered is if dp and I married in which case we could re-register ds with dp's surname only....hope this makes sense...

Flamesparrow Thu 07-Jul-05 08:50:21

As far as I could tell when I was naming DD...

Mother has legal rights whatever the surname is. Father has no rights (no power to make medical decisions etc) without legal paperwork. When he has the paperwork, again, the surname is irrelevant.

As long as the father goes with you to name the baby, then I think its ok to have the dad's surname (not sure if he doesn't go if you can give the baby his surname).

For me, I wanted her to have his surname - I felt like he hadn't experienced carrying her etc, and that he should get some part in it. If you have good double-barrellable surnames thenn you could go with that. Just your surname (if I were a dad) I think would make me feel like you thought I wouldn't be sticking around.

Dunno if any of that helped.

Blackduck Thu 07-Jul-05 08:53:22

FS - as long as father is on Birth Cert he now does have legal rights (law changed late 2003 - AFTER ds was born - so technically unless we sign a parental responsibility form dp has no legal rights...).

gigglinggoblin Thu 07-Jul-05 08:54:16

which surname you choose has nothing to do with legal rights - you can call him by a name which belongs to neither of you if you want to. i gave ds1 & 2 their dads name, despite the fact that we werent married and he refused to come with me to register ds2 (he is a git but i wanted them to have same name). it used to be that dad didnt have rights unless you were married but law has changed and as long as he comes with you to register he will have parental responsibility. not sure what guardianship means - are you in uk?

MINNIE1 Thu 07-Jul-05 09:02:44

I'm from Ireland (explains alot) Here we have to sign a form infront of a peace commissioner or commissioner of oath for DP to have legal gardianship, Thats no problem i want to do that anyway.
If i give the bubs DP surname and we split up could he have legal right to full custody (same if bubs takes my surname). Its horrible thinking of it like that but its somthing we have to sort out and we both have to be happy with it.

WigWamBam Thu 07-Jul-05 09:05:29

The child's surname doesn't confer any legal rights to either of you.

ninah Thu 07-Jul-05 09:06:57

blackduck, snap again!
Minnie our ds has both dp's and my surname - no hyphen. Dp was v keen to have just his but I was adament that unless we were married no way ... you can change the name by deed poll later on if you like. In fact I'm sure the registrar advised us the opposite of what you were told bd, it COULD be just my name later on if we had both names, but if we were to register in dp's name only I'd be stuck with that unless we did the deed poll thing. Anyway, we have quite a good combination of names and I'm glad mine is staying as we're all girls in our family and I want the surname to survive

ninah Thu 07-Jul-05 09:07:46

Minnie why not have both then?

Blackduck Thu 07-Jul-05 09:20:10

Ninah - had to make sure he had a short first name thou'

MINNIE1 Thu 07-Jul-05 09:20:39

I would like the bubs to have his surname, There are no legal rights so i think it would be nice for DP to have his input.

ninah Thu 07-Jul-05 09:26:52

yes, ds first name is short too!

Twiglett Thu 07-Jul-05 09:32:16

His, or yours as a middle name then his, or double-barrel it with both of yours

but I'm old fashioned that way

Fio2 Thu 07-Jul-05 09:34:08

my own maiden name (or maybe my Mothers because if I ever got divorced i would take on my mothers maiden name)

llamaduck Thu 07-Jul-05 09:45:35

ds had my name at birth.. there is no change in legal right to father by way of name given. The only way he gets parental responsiblity is autoomatically if married or if you apply to court in unmarried.

batters Thu 07-Jul-05 09:46:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninah Thu 07-Jul-05 09:47:56

A father gets automatic PR now if he signs the birth cert

PooPooGirl Thu 07-Jul-05 09:48:21

I gave dp her fathers name and now I regret it terribly. Some people are concerned about getting on in society where a mother and child have seperate names but tbh I don't find it a problem. People don't think twice about it, sometimes when I'm making appointments I have to say "Do you want my surname or hers?" but that's it. I think choose whichever name you both like the best if neither of you have a stong preference

llamaduck Thu 07-Jul-05 09:48:45

my ds (poor love) has 3 christian names and a loonngg double barrel surname. I fel for him tbh and may have done things diff. Esp as they have to be able to spell and write own name. Just first name and surname are 20 letters. With middle names as well it is 31 letters long

'asdfgh jklasdf ghj klasdf-ghjklasd'

llamaduck Thu 07-Jul-05 09:49:14

really ninah!!!!!

llamaduck Thu 07-Jul-05 09:49:45

ninah - do you have a link for infor on this?

PooPooGirl Thu 07-Jul-05 09:50:45

Just wanted to add - Ninah is correct I think it came into effect April 2003(?) poss 2004 though don't for the life of me know why I think that

ninah Thu 07-Jul-05 09:51:08

sorry no but blackduck has posted some more about it further down, she is quite right
The law changed fairly recently so it will only affect you if dp signed after the change in legislation

Blackduck Thu 07-Jul-05 09:54:45

Here you go..Dec

CarolinaMoon Thu 07-Jul-05 10:54:55

isn't minnie in Ireland though?

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