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Need advice on how to write a non threathing letter but need to get some points across

(4 Posts)
bottletopbill Tue 14-Jul-09 16:37:54

In a nutshell Ive been divorced for 19 years. My ex has never bothered with his 2 children, never goen for access, never paid maintenance and never had a job therefore no maintenance either thru csa.

2 years ago our eldest daughter now 26 went to meet him, she spent a couple of hours with him and found out for herself what a scumbag he is - I have never spoken down about him to the 2 children but have told them that he was violent towards me and them and I had to get out - other than that I have not told them anything else and believe you me there are so many things I could of said.

The rest of my family know exactly what went on but only told my father small bits as didnt want to worry him (ill health).

Strangley this morning I received a statement from the CSA saying that he has earnt nil for the last year so therefore no maintenance....Ive had these letters for the last 19 years.

I need some help with this

Anyway I have just found out that my father has been sending my ex money every week for the last 10 years...apparently he came and begged for money to be sent like this saying he was poor and could only just afford rent.

To say Im furious is an understatement, my Dad said he felt sorry for him. I reminded my Dad of all the things he did to me and his grandchildren and he has now agreed not to send him money anymore.

This all stemmed from a letter my Dad received from him sayign that he hadnt heard from my Dad for a while ie. My Dad was in hospital and so the ex wasnt getting his money! I saw the letter.

I need to do something to let my ex know that I have found out, I have reminded my father of the things my ex did to me and that this money thing has now stopped and that he never goes near my father again etc...

I think a letter would be the most appropriate action but done want it to be threathing just need to get these points across

HerHonesty Tue 14-Jul-09 17:30:53

why bother writing? he'll get the message when the money stops.

bottletopbill Tue 14-Jul-09 20:04:10

my dad is so naive see;s the good in everyone Im afraid also if my ex can do this he's capable of anything.

Someone has suggested I write a letter from my Dad saying its stopping and dont write again or I will forward letters to social

risingstar Tue 14-Jul-09 22:40:14

sounds to me that you need to write the letter for your own sake as much as your dad.

I wouldnt write it as your dad- I would write it from you in the tone you have posted here. Stick to the facts- you have had no money from him- all water under the bridge so to speak- you have recently found out that he has been scamming your dad for funds. now you have found out he will not receive another penny from this vulnerable, ill person. You expect never to hear from him again etc.

You will feel better when you have done it

Dads huh!

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