Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Free legal advice is available from a Citizen's Advice Bureau, and the Law Society can supply a list of local solicitors.

Question about parental rights and responsibilities

(15 Posts)
rhksmum Thu 02-Jul-09 22:02:34

My ex was awarded Pr in 2006, his reasoning was when they stay with him in England(I'm in Scotland) if they need medical treatment he couldnt sign consent forms etc.
He collected the children yesterday on the understanding that they stay with him and do boring things etc until next weekend when they are returned to me( social work had asked him to do this to see if my daughter kicked off with him the same way she does with me and since he is seen to be the one doing the 'fun' things, they wanted to try a different approach)

I phoned the children earlier to see how they were and was told that their dad had gone to Ireland and wouldnt be returning til next Friday.
They will stay with his partner til the weekend and then stay with his mum and dad til he returns.

Now apart from the fact that he was told by social work that they were to remain in his home under his care and he has not done this, what happens if the kids need medical care/treatment?
He isnt on their birth certificate as he refused to put his name on there so although he has his pr does his family have any?
I'm just really worried now if the kids need any kind of medical care what will happen


Surfermum Thu 02-Jul-09 22:04:53

How near are you?

rhksmum Thu 02-Jul-09 22:10:41

I'm just outside Glasgow, he stays in Warrington, so about 4 hrs by car, he drives up for them as I dont drive.

bigstripeytiger Thu 02-Jul-09 22:17:01

Your children wouldnt be deprived of urgently medical care if they needed it because there wasnt an adult with PR there.

rhksmum Thu 02-Jul-09 22:26:43

Thats good to know, but then that kind of flaws his argument as to why he wanted PR, his lawyer and him argued that he couldn't sign any consent forms if the children needed medical treatment so he needed PR

bigstripeytiger Thu 02-Jul-09 22:34:07

here are the guidelines for one unit

He needs PR to consent to non-urgent treatment, but if your child was seriously ill or injured a doctor would not leave them without help because they didnt have permission from someone with PR.

rhksmum Thu 02-Jul-09 22:52:00


I'm just angry that they were supposed to be down there to spend time with him and he's not even there. It just seems pointless them being down there

mamas12 Thu 02-Jul-09 23:43:11

Have you informed the social workers what he is doing?
Sounds barmy asking for the pr then leaving them with others for a week.
Are the dcs okay with this, enjoying themselves anyway?

Surfermum Fri 03-Jul-09 09:48:42

It isn't the only reason for having pr and I don't think you need to worry that he isn't around either, but I can see why you're annoyed. I'd be furious. The whole point of him being there was to try to get to the bottom of what is going on for your dd.

Do you know why he has gone away? Is it to do with work or something? Might he have told the social worker and explained the circumstances?

rhksmum Fri 03-Jul-09 09:52:31

Mamas12- When I spoke to the kids they couldn't understand why they were there if their dad wasn't, my ds2 who is 9 wants to come home, but then he never wants to go to his dads anyway, my daughter just kept saying on the phone if dads not here then why are we, we could have stayed at home with you and seen our friends.
To be honest social work wont be interested he's their blue eyed boy, can do no wrong in their eyes, he'll even find a way to get out of this and I will be the one in the wrong.
I understand emergencies come up with work etc but its his company, he's the one that says who goes where.
He must have known on Wednesday when he collected them that he was going away on the Thursday so why not say?

Surfermum Fri 03-Jul-09 09:57:59

Sounds like he isn't being straight with you, but I do have some sympathy with the work thing. Dh often has to work when dsd is here and he has his own business. If he didn't the business wouldn't be so successful, we'd let clients down, he'd not earn any money, we'd lose our home and dsd's mum wouldn't get her money either (ok, maybe slight exaggeration but you see my point).

But without knowing the details it's difficult to know whether he's just being an arse or if it was unavoidable.

Have you talked to him about it?

rhksmum Fri 03-Jul-09 10:19:52

I do understand that he has to work but if he's away til next friday and my children are coming home on the Sunday what was the point of them being there all this time.

He knew that the kids were comng down to his on the 19th June because that was when I was told by social work when he would be having them and he was at that meeting.
Social work stipulated that they were not to spend the week with his mum and dad, they were to stay with him and do 'boring' things to see what behaviour my daughter showed. But he's gone back on that, he's left them with his partner til the weekend and then they are going to his mums until he returns on the Friday.
He doesn't pay child support for his children he thinks by paying taxes he's paying for his childrenhmm

I havent spoke to him about it as he always takes the high ground and turns it round so its my fault, but I will be speaking to my lawyer on Monday about it.

Surfermum Fri 03-Jul-09 10:25:48

He sounds lovely grin.

I think I've been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt far too much! Are you going to ring the social worker?

rhksmum Fri 03-Jul-09 10:40:33

I haven't heard from our social worker since before the meeting on the 19th June, she was off sick that day and her senior was there in her place, he doesn't like me and made it perfectly clear at that meeting that he didn't. They dont return my calls, they think the sun shines out of his arse. he had agreed with them to take the wee ones every other weekend for 1 night, which he did a couple of tmes and then stopped, he doesn't phone them when he says he will and when I brought this up at the meeting I was ignored and they moved on to the next thing.
I realise I'm not the perfect parent but my children come before anything or anyone, and evertything i do is for them. he flits in and out of their lives as and when it suits him not them

I knew he would slip up but i didnt think he would do it quite so quick. I'm sure though he will manage to turn this around on himself and end up looking goodhmm

Surfermum Fri 03-Jul-09 10:42:08

If the whole point of them being there was so they could see how your dd gets on, then I'd be ringing them to ask what the plan is now that that isn't happening.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: