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Advice needed on how to handle dp's ex!!

(6 Posts)
fifisboys Tue 16-Jun-09 09:49:57

o cut a long story short..

I live with my dp and we are engaged to be married next year. He has a 2 year old dd with his ex and she is refusing to let him bring her to meet me.
There is no reason behind it at all, she has even said she has no reason for it, other than she doesn't want her dd to be with me.

I was just wondering if, legally she can dictate who dp can introduce her dd to, and how we go about fighting this.

Doodle2u Tue 16-Jun-09 09:56:31

"and how we go about fighting this"

Don't think in terms of 'fighting' it. Let it ride for a while. The more you push, the more you'll alienate her. Don't pose a threat to her. Let things happen in a time frame that she feels she can cope with - it must be bloody difficult to let you tiny daughter go to another woman...even if you know you are a lovely person and only want the best for the child.

IMO.

Jux Tue 16-Jun-09 10:21:08

Agree with Doodle.

I would have hated letting dd go to another woman when she was that age. I would not have had any acceptable reason for it either, but I would have hated it so much that I would probably have become utterly unreasonable about it. If pushed, I would have dug my heels in hard and quite possibly have started being unreasonable about a lot of other things too. As it happens, I never was in that position so none of it ever happened to me, but I know how I would have felt if things had been different.

pramspotter Tue 16-Jun-09 10:37:20

Can you not grow up and respect the fact that it is hard for the ex to deal with her dd playing happy families with her former partner and his current thing?

It is a very painful thing and all she needs is time. Eventually she will chill out and be okay with it. Tread carefully. The child and her mother's feelings are paramount to yours.

fifisboys Tue 16-Jun-09 11:06:49

I do respect her feelings..as it happens my exdp is with a new partner and my ds's stay over there with him every weekend...so i do know how she is feeling...
she has a new dp and her dd is around him all the time regardless of what my dp says about it..it just feels unfair that we are the only ones who are unable to be part of her life

dilemma456 Tue 16-Jun-09 11:53:45

Message withdrawn

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