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Tonight I threw dh out. Well, he had to be removed by the police. What do I do now?

(12 Posts)
Ready4anothercoffee Sun 07-Jun-09 21:06:31

Long history, but tonight it culminated in dh crossing the line, while drunk, and resulted in him being removed by the police as he refused to leave and I* was scared for the safety of myself and the dcs.

Currently he is sleeping it off in a cell, before being interviewed. I don't want him back until he's sorted out his drinking, there's a history of dv.

So, 1. how do I keep him out?

2. what do I need to do to stay afloat financially?


sushistar Sun 07-Jun-09 21:11:00

You need to contact Refuge or one of the other dv charities about the finances - and about keeping him out. You need professional advice - you could maybe get a court order? Well done for taking the step of getting him removed.

GypsyMoth Sun 07-Jun-09 21:13:18

Was he arrested for breach of the peace?

If he owns/rents the house, then without an injunction he can just come back. See a solicitor asap I think!

tribpot Sun 07-Jun-09 21:13:19

Please call Women's Aid - well done for taking a positive step to protect you and your dc.

Noonki Sun 07-Jun-09 21:23:16

Hi there

hope you are feeling Ok.

The bottom line is he shouldnt ever come back. Forget the drinking business, he drinking isnt the issue the violence is. My ex used to change after drinking and the best thing I ever did was kick him out for good.

Don't let him blame it on the booze.

Contact Women's Aid. Get them to recommend a good solictor. Put in a court order to keep him at bay.

Be strong smile

mrspnut Sun 07-Jun-09 21:31:12

Ring women's aid tomorrow morning, your local one should be in the phone book or via the national women's aid website.

From the sounds of things you will need to apply for an occupation order and a non molestation order (non-mol) to prevent him from returning to the house and harassing you.

They can also help you with claiming benefits and can sometimes offer emergency loans if things are really desperate. Our office always has loads of food and toiletries in it as well for women to take if they need to as well as children's and women's clothes.

FfreckleFface Sun 07-Jun-09 22:39:41

Ready4, I have no practical advice, but if there is anything I can do then text/send me a message on FB.

Hope you and the DCs are ok.

Ready4anothercoffee Mon 08-Jun-09 06:42:48

Freckle, thank you, you are so kind. I had a wonderful friend drop everything and come over last night and held me together. this week will be hard.

Thank you, everyone else. I will be ringing womens aid for practical advice, I will have a dv officer visit today, apparantly.

We rent, it's a joint tenancy through a HA, I plan to ring them later, and try to get things in motion wrt changing the tenancy and changing the locks, as I don't know if he has a key.

I don't know whether it is nature or the booze tbh. He is what I describe as a angry drunk, if that makes sense. either way he needs to have the booze kicked if he is to have any hope of returning.

babybarrister Mon 08-Jun-09 21:00:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FfreckleFface Wed 10-Jun-09 23:25:34

Ready4, hope everything is ok with you, and I do mean it when I say to call if there is anything I can do, even if it is just coming over here for a change of scenery for you and the DCs for an afternoon.

blinder Thu 11-Jun-09 12:31:22

it's all good advice here - WELL DONE for putting yourself and the children first. It takes courage to throw out an abuser.

Call Family Tax Credit for more benefit advice. ey You can apply by phone.

I found I was better off financially by getting out of a destructive relationship. I havent looked back! Good luck x

blinder Thu 11-Jun-09 12:34:43

I also found this page. Very useful

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