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bail conditions. does anyone know anything about them, and breaking them?

(16 Posts)
stitch Tue 06-Jan-09 19:08:21

dh let out on bail and not allowed to harass me, or come near me. so instead he has been harassing my sister. in the guise of trying to save our marriage. she has just asked me in a broken voice to just please come and talk to him for tenminutes.
what do i do?
as her sister, and we do love each other, i have to do as she asks. but, if i go over, it makes a mockery of the entire things. the bail conitions have been set up to protect me, and if i go over, what is that then? but she is so stressded. and i have previously told her not to listen to him, or let him get to her, but she obviously hastn.
what will happen if i voluntarily go over there? anyone with any advice please.

i know i coul phone the police up and say he is hharassing my family like this, and they wouldh ave him back in lockup (i think_) but i dont wantto do that yet.

stitch Tue 06-Jan-09 19:26:07

any suggestions or advice please?

LaDiDaDi Tue 06-Jan-09 19:27:53

Don't go, stitch. He will twist the factthat you have gone to see him. Please don't go.

Surfermum Tue 06-Jan-09 19:28:19

I've got no experience myself, but I didn't want your posts left unanswered. I think I'd be inclined to stay away from him myself and get your sister to call the police if he won't leave her alone.

I've not posted on your threads before but I have been following them. You are so brave and you're doing brilliantly.

duckyfuzz Tue 06-Jan-09 19:29:39

don't go, do tell the police

kormaisforlifenotjustchristmas Tue 06-Jan-09 19:29:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnarchyAunt Tue 06-Jan-09 19:30:04

DO NOT GO AND SPEAK TO HIM.

It will give him the clear message that he can get to you through your family and he will do it again.

Call the police.

ilovelovemydog Tue 06-Jan-09 19:30:33

Call the police - he has bail conditions for a reason.

Yes, you love your sister, but she must respect the court order, so sorry, you don't have to do as she asks.

stitch Tue 06-Jan-09 19:30:41

i have to go to get the kids. they are there. but my inclinatino is to phone sister back, and give her some facts about why i should not go, so she can just bring them out to th ecar.
i just need to know what to say to her. iyswim. he has really gotten to her. she is off home coz she is ick, and he has been talking to her whining at her since christmas day.

aidansyummymummy Tue 06-Jan-09 19:32:30

Dont do it it will show he has the upper hand if you do.

Also he may put a risk the case against him.

ilovelovemydog Tue 06-Jan-09 19:33:21

You need to call the police.

Tell them what has happened.

If you go there and he's still there and you do speak to him, he will use this in court; that you really aren't that scared of him...

stitch Tue 06-Jan-09 20:30:42

didnt see him. got the kids.

ilovelovemydog Tue 06-Jan-09 20:31:42

smile

iamaLeafontheWind Tue 06-Jan-09 21:35:42

Well done, but if he carries on at sis then tell the police. You are in the right, he is a twunt, be strong. smile

dilemma456 Wed 07-Jan-09 06:37:25

Message withdrawn

unavailable Wed 07-Jan-09 11:52:44

Bail conditions in cases like yours usually state not to contact the victim (ie you) "either directly or indirectly". By harassing your sister and trying to get her to peruade you to see him, he is clearly in breach of bail. You should report him to the police. Its not fair on you or your sister to be put upon in this way.

If he thinks he has got away with this breach, he is more likely to be even more blatent next time.

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